So Ready for Retirement

This has been some kind of week; a bad one. Last week flew by but this week I can't believe it's only Thursday. Time is moving incredibly slow. That's what happens when you spend your day in a fog.

There is no pattern that I can figure out but every now and then I get insomnia. MJ will usually tell me that I was asleep but it doesn't feel like it. I feel like I'm laying in bed all night waiting for the alarm to go off.  I can only guess that I'm just not getting into that deep REM sleep that makes you feel like you are sleeping and rested when you wake up. So that happened last Monday. I couldn't fall asleep and was exhausted all day. I took OTC sleeping pills for the rest of the week to make sure it wouldn't happen again and I was okay for the rest of the week but this week I had a new problem. I'm waking up hours before my alarm clock for no reason. The sleeping pill gets me to sleep but then I wake up too early so I'm still not getting enough.

My happily retired parents 

Speaking of being tired I am so ready to be retired. It makes total sense that the word tired is in the word retired because after working for so many years you have got to be straight up tired. I know I am and I am not even half way there. People in their 30's have no business even thinking about retirement.  I'm thinking about it because I'm having a really bad week and my mom is having a really good one because she just retired. After 28 years of working at the post office my mom is finally a free woman.  28 freaking years! That is a really long time to work at one place. My Dad retired last year but they still couldn't travel freely or be flexible with their plans because my mom was still tied down to a job. She might have worked a little longer but after seeing my Dad enjoy the retired lifestyle she was ready to be done with it. I'm glad it's happening while they can still enjoy it. I hate hearing about people who spend their life working only to retire so old and/or ill that they aren't healthy enough to really enjoy their life once they finally can.  Or worse; that they never even make it. My parents are gym rats and are in good health.  My Dad is doing really well since his Kidney transplant so now they'll get to enjoy life together.  It's a pretty exciting time for them. California isn't exactly a retirement friendly state so they have some big decisions to make about where they want to move and settle down. This is their time to live life on their terms. It makes me happy to know they will have comfortable retirement.  Things have fallen into place.  They've worked hard and they deserve it.  I'll have to do the same. 

If I can't retire I'll settle for independently wealthy but either one feels like an impossible far off dream.  I love thinking about getting there one day but I also hate thinking about it because who knows if I'll actually be able to.  I  have a long way to go before I am age eligible but realistically, I'll probably end up working for several years beyond that.  It's overwhelming (and depressing) to think about working well into my 60's. Sigh.  Pensions are a thing of the past.  How do regular folks do it? I contributed to a 401(k) with a company match for 6 years at my old job. I rolled that into a 403 (b) where I contribute what I can monthly since 2008.  I also contribute 7% of my pay to a state retirement account.  I always forget about that one because they make us do it.  I've been paying into social security since I was 16 and I have multiple savings accounts but I still have no idea if it will be enough. I don't think I'll ever feel like I'm doing enough. What do people who don't work rely on?  MJ has a 401(k) with a employer match and he plans to stay in the Army reserves long enough to collect retirement from that so his chances are better then mine. I hate thinking about going to work every day while he lives the retired life.  Call me selfish, but it would really suck.      

If only my actual life was one big vacation with days and days stretched out ahead of me with which to do whatever I want whenever I want.  Wouldn't it be awesome though if you could retire in your prime when you are still young, hot and full of energy?  Not that I can barely stay up past 10 or that my parents aren't hot or anything.  I won't wish these years away.  There is plenty of life to be lived and good times to be had but there will also be years and years of weekends that are never long enough, many Monday's I will dread and vacations that I wish would last forever.