Vacation Over and a Broken Bra

We're back. The 2nd thing I relished as I stepped off the airplane was the crisp cool air.  Don't get me wrong.  In two seconds I was getting chilly again but it was a huge departure from the muggy, hot, heavy air that permeates the DC Metro area. It's like a hot musty blanket hanging over your head and that's when it's not even raining.  When it rains it's worse.  The 1st thing I relished as we came in for landing was the beauty that is San Diego.  It's so nice to be home.

Our flights there and back were obscenely early.  Both departed at 6:30am so coming and going we had to wake up at zero dark thirty.  I hated ever single second of our flights to and from Europe and normally I hate every second of air travel just going coast to coast but surprisingly it just wasn't that bad.  And I didn't feel like a total wreck when I got off the plane.  I may have looked like one but I felt okay.  I am NOT plane pretty.  I am more like plane plain when I have a long flight ahead of me.  It's yoga pants, converse, glasses and Vaseline on my lips.  I asked Mj.  Do I look awful?  He said no and he would totally tell me the truth so that's good enough for me.

On the way there I worked on my novel for about 4 hours.  No new pages really, just fine tuning.  Which was definitely too long for me to be staring at a white screen with tiny words thousands of feet in the air because by the time I shut my lap top my stomach was queasy and I was looking around for the barf bags.  The five hour flight was over before I knew it.  Same thing on the way home.  I worked on my novel for most of it then napped.  Maybe early morning instead of our usual red eye flights is the way to go.  Airport bathrooms however are always terrible and awkward.  Mj never had to use them but I did.  I bend over to pull my pants down and my head hits the wall.  Then I'm hanging onto the hand rail for dear life as I hover and squat because nobody sits on those toilets right?

We made it home by 11:30am which was great.  We unpacked and by that I mean threw almost everything in the laundry.  I decided to hit the gym.  If not now then when?  Turns out it was the most awesome elliptical work out ever.  I had an hour to burn.  Literally.  So Mj suggested I take a movie he'd ordered off iTunes (Hit & Run) and watch it on his iPad.  I forgot I was working out and it flew by.  It was like I was sweating profusely while watching a movie and the whole burning 630 calories thing was a bonus.  I watched the last 20 minutes later that day.  When I got home Mj was winding down for a nap.  I was tired but that gym work out revved me up a little. I just didn't feel I had enough time to sleep, wake up and still be functional.  Between finishing laundry, eating, watching a few shows and recovering from the shock of finding out that my favorite bra had split in half I never got around to that nap.

Yes, you read that right.  When I took my bra out of the dryer it was literally split in half.  Normally I don't put them in the dryer but I wanted to wear it that night so went ahead and did it.  It's been in the dryer plenty of times before back when I used to dry them so I figured no big deal.   It's a Victoria's Secret Biofit bra and honestly, I've had the thing since 2008 so I guess it was just time for it to split.   It's my only nude bra with straps so now I have to add trip to Victoria's Secret to my list of things to do.

So on top of the five hour flight, gym and laundry we went to a 7:00pm Padre game that night.  The Braves were in town and Mj had to see them so that was that.  Bedtime did not come until around 11:30am but it was so deliciously wonderful to be in my own bed.  I'm on the juice for the next few days to cleanse myself of all the crap I've been foolishly putting into my body and then I'll be starting the Advocare herbal cleanse.  It's a detox that includes food so that's pretty exciting.  I need to get back to making better food choices again.  No more vacations until December so that should help!  I'll be back with a vacation recap and that darn giveaway I keep mentioning.  I promise! It's really going to happen.

By the way thank you soooo much for all of your wonderful comments on this post and crystallizing the concept that popularity is totally overrated.  I have such great readers and have made such amazing connections with other bloggers just being who I am.  Nothing else really matters.  Duh.

Boys and Their Toys

I'm not sure what's so fun about this little toy remote control helicopter. A friend of Mj's had this and when Mj saw a Groupon deal for it he bought one too. I shook my head a little and wondered why he wanted such a thing. Boys and their toys. But when he started the little thing up and sent it flying about the room I found myself fascinated. It's so cute and it's just fun to watch for some reason.  On his first try he  crashed it into walls and even me! Now he's so good he can land it in the palms of my hands.  This little helicopter is indestructible.  It doesn't break upon impact and it also doesn't destroy things that it crashes into because it's made of a really lightweight plastic material.  It's fine to fly it in the house as long as you don't run it into fragile objects.

This is an Estes Remote Control Helicopter. It takes 6 AA batteries and I recommend rechargeables because it kills batteries pretty quick.  If you are looking for a fun and different gift for your guy this is perfect. Father's Day maybe?  It's not just for kids. And chances are you'll get a kick out of it too.

30 second video of the helo in action

So, it's time for me to be off on trip #3 for the year.  I have not organized any guest bloggers so it's going to be pretty quiet around these parts.  Which is fine.  The old blog will be here when I get back.  Hopefully.  I've heard of two bloggers that had their blogs randomly deleted by blogger but it won't happen to me.  Right?  I'm off to my 2nd trip in as many weeks and I haven't felt a single ounce of anxiety.  Which is completely unusual for me.  Maybe I'm finally getting a hang of this whole not freaking out before a trip thing.  The packing was done in advance and I'm only going to Washington DC not Timbuktu so aside from my glasses and my Rx I can buy anything I forget when I get there.  Our flight leaves obscenely early.  6:30 am!  Which is probably why we got such a great deal on our airfare so it's worth it.  I packed way too many clothes and I'm really wishing I didn't see thunderstorms in the forecast but I'm ready.

When I get back I'll be trying aout the Advocare Herbal Cleanse.  I'm sure my body will be screaming for a good detox when I get back because I plan on hitting up Cracker Barrel at least 4 times while we're there.  Kidding.  One time will do.  I've also got a great giveaway planned.  See you then!!

I'm not the Popular Type

Okay.  This is a long one but I want you to read it so grab a coffee or wine if it's after 12 noon if you are so obliged.

In middle school there was a girl named Phaedra. She had brown curly hair with giant bangs teased sky high and shellacked with hairspray.  Our generation of 8th graders single handedly put a dent in the ozone with all of that aqua net.  Me included.  She had thick shiny braces on her teeth, brown hair, blue eyes, an outgoing personality and she was popular.  Everybody liked her.  In High School there were several queen bees that ruled the roost.  One of them was a fellow cheerleader and friend.  Let's call her Lena.  She was smart, pretty and sweet.  She had an upperclassmen boyfriend who was one of the cutest boys in school, she had a big house, everyone thought her dad was cute and she even had a car.  Everyone liked her too.  People just flocked to her and wanted to be her friend. 

I was never that popular kid.  I was always on the fringe.  I wouldn't exactly say I was a nerd.  Okay, I definitely was a nerd up until 10th grade but somewhere around that time things started to improve for me.  I was already on Varsity Gymnastics but I made the Cheer leading team.  I joined student government.  I ditched glasses for contacts and started to get a handle on what to do with my hair.  By my senior year I could call a lot of those "cool" kids my friends and  I even made prom court.  To this day I still can't believe that happened.  I didn't have that outgoing personality that draws people in.  I was quiet.  I wasn't the star anything.  I wasn't loud enough, confident enough, smart enough, different enough or pretty enough.  I didn't have the right clothes.  People didn't flock to me the way they did to them.  I mingled with them.  But I couldn't BE them.  

This post was featured as an editor pick on BlogHer.com

I've been blogging for about 4 years now.  At first I was totally oblivious to the whole blogger industry that was exploding around me.  I started seeing other bloggers post about comparing themselves to others, feeling inadequate and reading a post and wishing they could have written it.  I was like, what are they talking about?  Then I came out from under whatever rock I was hiding under and realized that there were some really popular blogs out there gaining thousands of followers and that blogging was moving in a new direction.  Then somewhere along the way I started having some of those feelings myself.  It was a feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on. And then it dawned on me that some of those old feelings of wanting to be accepted and liked that I had in high school had resurfaced but substitute high school for the blogging world.  And it was kind of weird to realize this because as an adult I thought that I'd put those kind of emotions behind me.  I work full time, I pay bills.  I have a greater awareness of the world. I have a full happy life with fulfilling relationships.  I have a mortgage and a husband.  Why am I concerned about being popular, liked and coming up with a really witty status update that will stand out?  'Aint nobody got time for that.

The blog world is full of popular kids, cliques and social hierarchy.  And it can feel very competitive.  I'm not saying any of it's bad, good or intentional but it's there.  I think it's just the nature of the beast.  Here's the thing.  I've never been and will probably never be that cool kid.  I didn't win Prom Queen my Senior year in high school and I'm certainly not winning any popularity contests in the blog world today.  Popularity was important to me as an insecure teenager but it's not what I'm after now as a slightly less insecure adult blogger.  

I ran for class secretary my freshman year of high school.  It was a really bold move for someone like me.  I was terrified of the whole process and I still can't figure out what possessed me to do it.  Anyway, I failed miserably.  Not only because I was an unpopular nerd but because I was too afraid to 'put myself out there.'  I didn't want to put up too many signs.  I didn't want to hand out candy with a vote for me tag on it.  I didn't want to ask people to vote for me.  I was running for a class office but it was almost like I didn't want anyone to know that I was.  The more people that knew I was running the more that would know I failed.  Plus, I couldn't actually let them know how bad I really wanted it because that would make defeat even more embarrassing.  In that sense, I am just not a natural when it comes to selling myself.  I don't always like to put myself out there like that.  It makes me feel vulnerable and I've never liked asking people for help or favors.  I want you to like my blog but I don't necessarily want to ask you.  I'm stubborn.  I want you to stumble upon it and make the decision on your own. Perhaps by osmosis.   

I'm not the life of the party.  I'm more of an understated introvert and I guess my blog is too.

I can't be more eloquent, funnier, craftier, more domestic, more fashionable, more this or more that then I am.  It's too exhausting to try to be something I'm not. I can only be me.

Popularity is seductive.  We all want to be liked.  Being liked is validating.  The more validated we become the more we want it.  The less validated we are the more we want it.  It's a natural desire but I try to be conscious of not letting it determine how I feel about myself.

I have come to understand that not everybody is gonna like me even if I like them.  Not everyone will want to read my blog even if I read theirs.  And vice versa.  A lot of people are not going to be interested in a single thing I have to say. It doesn't have to be personal.  It's just life.  We can only read so many blogs in a day anyways.

I can comment 'till the cows come home and some bloggers will never acknowledge my existence.  Ever.  And I am not a no reply commenter. Again, trying not to take it personally.

There is no exact science to blogging or popularity.  It's what you make it and it's what you bring to the table as an individual.  Some bloggers will write two words or post a picture and get a million comments and the next person could post those same words with picture and get none.  Some blogs employ all the tricks in the book to gain readers and then there are others that don't have to.

I realize that if I don't do certain things I may never get noticed.  If I don't throw a party I can't expect anyone to show up.  If I don't coordinate my ideas I can't expect a lot of people to know about them.  There are many tools of the trade available for growing readership but I haven't really utilized all of them.  I can't seem to decide what feels right for me and my blog.  I do a bit of self promotion here and there but mostly I just take it as it comes.  It's the so called organic approach.  Which basically means slow. 

Then there is the business side of it all.  Thinking too much about word optimization, page views, or how to 'drive' traffic makes my brain hurt.  Marketing what?  It's too much like work and I don't think of this blog as a job.

Here are the blog stats in all their glory.  It's not anything to brag about.  Normally you see this stuff posted on the Sponsor tab of a blog but I don't have one of those so I'm putting them here and after this you are likely never to see them again.  I have the lowest number of likes in the history of any Facebook page I have ever seen.  I actually think it's kind of funny.  I'm still not sure why I even bother with it.  I don't pay that much attention to page views but I've seen anywhere between 180-450 per day based on the blogger dash numbers which are known to be inflated.  Nowhere near the astronomical 8,000 per day page views that some get.  My jaw about fell off my head when I saw that posted on someone's blog.  Maybe I should be embarrassed of these stats after 4 years of blogging but I'm not.  They're just numbers.  I wish I felt the same about my weight.

GFC:  236
Bloglovin':  68
Feedburner: 8
Twitter: 105
Instagram:  63
Facebook: 7
Pinterest:  37

I try not to confuse popularity or followers with quality.  It's really important for me to think about MY definition of blogger success.  Whatever that means to me is what will dictate the direction of my blog and how I feel about myself as a blogger.  Not everyone is cut out for blogger mogul status. Yes, you heard it here first; I've coined the phrase.  It's very impressive how far some of them have taken their blogs and I think that's great but not every blogger will get there. 

For me it can't be about followers because if it is then that means I'm a total fail and I refuse to believe that's the case.  I just want to write.  I'm working on a novel.  I enjoy documenting my life so I can look back on it later in life and I've been doing so since I was 9.  For me it's about good writing and feeling good about what I'm putting out there.  It's about consistency.  I may not have a set blogging schedule but for the most part you know you won't go too long without having me pop up in your news feed.  I love the relationships that I've formed with other bloggers.  It's about writing, engaging with other bloggers and having a good time doing it.  As long as I'm doing that I'm good.  I'm not going to sit here and say I don't want people to read my blog or that I wouldn't be happy to have higher numbers.  I wouldn't be on the internet if I didn't want anyone to read.  Having higher numbers would be cool...but not having that doesn't make me enjoy blogging any less.

I may not be good at getting a lot of people to like me but I am good at getting a few people to like me a lot.  There are some really good blogs that not a whole lot of people are reading and I like to believe that one of them is mine.  Not so much the whole nobody is reading thing, but that my blog is good.

Confessional Friday Time!!

Linking up with Leslie @ A Blonde Ambition

I confess that it has taken me all week to recover from my weekend Vegas trip.  Today is the first day that I don't feel exhausted, ragged and about to fall over.  If you read my Vegas post you know why.  The day is still young though.  Let's see if it holds.

I confess that next time I go to Vegas I will simply accept that I'm old and can't hang and I'm not even gonna try.  Something about that city makes me want to be up and out and in it all night long but realistically that kind of up all night sleepless Vegas experience is not for me.  I still can't believe my very pregnant friend outdid me.  Okay.  Maybe I can. 

I confess that when I got back from Vegas I felt positively rotund so I did my 3rd juice fast in 2 months.  I was gonna buy juice because I didn't have time or energy to make it but my sweet husband offered to do it for me.  I really needed it.  And I feel so much better now. 

I confess that I really like the word rotund.  It's different, it rolls off your tongue and sounds so much nicer then fat.

I confess that I'm more then slightly bewildered about the prospect of having to pack all over again for our Washington DC trip next week.  Yes, NEXT WEEK and I just got back from Vegas.  There is like no down time and you know how I need my down time. And naps.  We have plans on Saturday day and my busy body husband is trying to get me out of the house on Sunday but I think I need to mentally focus on packing and all that other pre vacation stuff that needs to get done.

I confess that the last time I read a book was in September when we went to Europe. That's 8 months. I used to read all the time but it's just gotten away from me. I feel like I don't have time to make the trip to the library to see what's there. And I can't just see an interesting book and say oh, I'll get that.  My reading options depend on what's at the library.  Yes, I still use the library for books. I'm old school like that. I don't have a kindle and I don't buy them because I hate having to store them when I'm done. Plus, they are super expensive. Now that I think about it maybe that's why I haven't been reading that much. I'll be heading off to the library on Sunday to see what they have for my trip.  Am I the only one still using my library card?

I confess that I want to change my blog name but I'm having a really hard time thinking of something new that I will really want to stick with forever.  For someone who has a hard time coming up with post titles this is REALLY hard.

I confess that I'm two pages under my 15 page monthly goal for my novel.  Today is the last day of May.  Can I really squeeze in two pages today?  Possibly, but not likely.

I confess that I'm terrified of speaking in public.  I've only had to do it once, I forced myself and I actually did a pretty good job but it's a very scary thing for me.  I was nominated at work for Outstanding employee of the year and I was terrified of winning just because I didn't want to have to go up there and say anything.  Not winning was kind of a relief.

I confess that I have a giveaway coming soon!  I know right?  It's been a really long time since I did one. Stay tuned.


 
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Why I Can't "Hang" in Vegas

Vegas, Vegas. Aahh...where do I begin. Well first of all it's like a black hole with lots of people and bright blinky lights.  Cell phone reception there sucks.  I don't remember it being this bad last year but text messages went unsent, calls were dropped and my access to social media was severely limited; which was actually a good thing.  When my friend Jana told me she wanted to meet up in Vegas I said sure. She lives in Alaska now, I don't get to see her often. I'm there. Then when I realized she'd be 7 1/2 months pregnant I was a little concerned. Should she even be flying? Is she really going to be able to handle hot Las Vegas at 7 1/2 months pregnant? A lot of pregnant women are waddling by then. Well...not only did she "handle" Vegas but she did it with a hell of a lot more energy then I did. She is like my pregnant mama idol! The girl did not stop from the minute her flight touched down to the moment she left.  Me, on the other hand.  Not so much.

Body Parts at the Bar at the end of the haunted house

Friday: We stayed at the Flamingo Hotel.  Our room was so cute and the beds so comfy!  Their theme color is pink which makes me love them even more.  After a five hour drive to Vegas where I wasn't even the one driving I proceeded to take a nap while Jana and my sister Dani went down to the Casino.  That night we met up with a friend that Jana and I have known since we were kids and we all went to a haunted house; Eli Roth's Goretorium on the strip.  Every time the chain saw guy came out I screamed and ran.  It was pretty fun...if a little cheesy.  We got tickets for $15 on Groupon; I would not have paid $25.  We had a drink at the bar there but then after that it was still too early to go to bed in Vegas even for us so while Jana went off to gamble the night away my sister and I walked to Fat Burger for drinks.  They play good music, have plenty of outdoor seating and always have a two for one drink coupon lady posted outside.

At the Pool

Me and my pretty preggo friend Jana

In front of the Caesar's Palace with Bellagio Hotel in background

Saturday:  We hit the pool at 9am.  If you don't get there between 8-9 am and you don't want to spend $350 on a cabana or sit on the concrete don't even bother going until 2pm or 3pm when some of the morning crowd starts to leave.  The pool gets packed quick and you have to hunt down lounge chairs.  There is the party side with the DJ and bikini clad go go dancers and the more relaxing side that allows children.  We did not choose the party side.  Every single chair on that side was already taken anyways.  After that much to my sister's annoyance I had to take another nap.  We went to the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace.  Express was having 40% off everything in the store.  I have never seen that before ever and even though I told myself I should stay away there was no way that I could miss out so I couldn't resist buying a few things. I even got an extra 10% military discount on top of that.  Score!! Then it was time for dinner because it's always time to eat when you are in Vegas.

All dolled up and sort of ready to go

Giant Margaritas at the Club

There is a very good chance that this is my last hurrah.  Getting all dolled up to go out that night was so exhausting for me that I had to take a break.  I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it.  I took a deep  breath before I put on my make up.  I had to drag my butt into my little short shorts and will my feet into those heels.  I just can't hang like I used to.  We met my sister's husband at Senor Frogs at Treasure Island and we got a buy one get one drink coupon on our way in.  When we got inside we discovered that the only option on it was a GIGANTIC margarita on the rocks and it cost $26.00.  We went with it.  My sister gets one of those suckers every time she goes but it was my first time.  I just knew I couldn't drink all of that but by the end of the night it was gone baby gone and so was I!  And I love it that it never even crossed my mind to imagine how many calories were in it.  We couldn't hang at the club for very long so the two of us left, stopped at the room and changed into flats and then walked back to our favorite hang out Fatburger.  Eating greasy delicious french fries while intoxicated is pure bliss I tell you.  We didn't get back to the hotel until 4am and Mrs pregnant lady was still out!

Getting on the Vegas Tram at Aria

New York New York Hotel and that awful roller coaster

Las Vegas City Center // Aria Express Tram

Sunday:  When we went to bed Saturday night it was basically a nap because we didn't get to bed until about 4:30am and we were at the pool by 8:45am.  Jana actually woke us up.  She was all bright eyed and bushy tailed of course.  It was hard not to hate her as I jumped out of bed in a tired haze and then felt my head pounding.  We found a perfect shaded spot and since we didn't have to sweat like pigs in the sun we were able to stay for a while.  A long while.  We didn't leave for five hours and I was able to multi task by getting my nap on at the pool.  We took the tram from Aria to Monte Carlo to cut out some walking.  It was my first time on it.  I don't do roller coasters anymore.  Especially not ones with a loopy loop on top of really big buildings but my sister wanted to try the New York New York roller coaster so I really had no choice in the matter.  It was awful!  We basically got jerked around the whole time and I couldn't stop screaming and begging to get off.  The sign said it was $7 for a re ride but they wold have to pay me to get back on that thing.  We got in our obligatory Vegas buffet that night for dinner at the MGM Grand Buffet.  There was so much to choose from and the food was delicious.  After two not even very loaded plates of food I was done.  I don't think I've ever skipped out on dessert at a buffet but after my meal I couldn't even look at it.  By the time we finished dinner it was late; for us anyways.  My sister and I weren't even trying to be out that night.  Just couldn't do it.  I love the water show at the Bellagio so we stopped to see that then just hung out in the room.  Jana was not trying to hang out with us worn out tired folks so she hit the casino while we hit the hay.

Bally's and Paris Hotel

Bellagio Hotel water show with Caesars Palace in the background

Monday:  Jana had to catch a 12 hour flight back to Alaska so she was gone by 8am but we didn't make it out until around 10:45am.  We had gotten so little sleep over the weekend that I just couldn't drag my butt out of bed and I think my sister needed to get some sleep so she could drive.  Getting breakfast was a debacle.  We thought nobody would want to eat at Denny's.  Wrong.  It was packed.  Even McDonald's was packed.  We stopped in at a buffet but the prices were jacked up to about $32 bucks for the holiday so that was out.  We ended up back at the Flamingo in one of their restaurants and it was just a short wait.  The French Toast was well  worth the trouble.  Then we hit the road.  It took us 7 freaking hours to get to my mom's house!!!  From there I had a 45 minute drive to my house so I didn't get home until 10pm.

Tuesday:  Exhausted.  Juicing.  Work.  Gym.  Boo!!!

Just pretending.  I didn't spend a single penny on gambling

I had such a good time with my sister.  We always have fun on our little sister trips and I'm so sad that this will be the last one for a while.  I think it finally hit me that she's moving in 2 months and I spontaneously burst into tears while we were eating breakfast.  Crying in public is awesome.  I'm going to miss her so much.  It was so nice to spend some time with Jana.  Even while carrying around an almost fully formed human inside of her she outdid me in Vegas.  She is that same force she was back when we were teenagers.  She hasn't changed a bit.  But I have.  We're the same age but I'm old...and there is nothing like Las Vegas to remind me of it!!

Vegas is great!  I love the energy, the lights, the beautiful buildings, the shopping, the food and the anything goes relaxed kind of vibe.  It makes me want to be out and about all night long.  You never know what you're going to see.  There was a contortionist on one corner and Chewbaca on the next.  I love seeing everyone dressed to kill as they head out for a night on the town.  Carry around a six pack of beer in the streets and drink it as you go.  Walk down the street in a bikini and high heels.  Or those awful high waisted denim shorts with the slanted cut off bottoms that are universally unflattering for every figure.  Why are people wearing these?? Drink from a gold colored bottle of champagne hanging around a chain from your neck.  Yes, they were actually selling those.  Do whatever you want, wear whatever you please because it's Vegas and anything goes.

I may not have what it takes to really "hang" in this city.  I never really did.  Everything is really expensive and I don't like to spend a lot of money.   My outfits never come close to Vegas level hoochie.  If I drink even a little bit too much one night I can't even look at alcohol for another 24 hours at least.  I don't put on make up and do my hair to go sweat at the pool in 90 degree weather. I need naps.  I barely made it out for our one club night, Roller Coasters make me ill and I can't even eat at the buffet like I used to.  But even so, I love Vegas and I know I'll be back.