House Arrest

I really appreciate all of your comments on my last post.  I was so scared!  It was nice to see some of the comments before surgery.  I gave myself a pass and didn't reply, but this is me giving you a big giant reply all thank you right now.

Friday was a really long day. As long as it was for me it was even longer for MJ since I was basically unconscious for part of it.  We left the house around 8:30 and didn't get home until around 7pm.  It was all very organized but there were many stations to get through.  We checked in, I was sent to pre op where I got these cute little purple non skid socks with white paws on them and a purple gown.  The coolest thing about this gown is that it had a ventilation system.  When I got all trembly and freaked out about the IV they were able to put the hose right into a hole and heat me up from the inside out.  I really need something like that for work where it's always freezing.
My own surgery collage.  I look so awesome I couldn't just decide on one.
I was in surgery for 3 1/2 hours.  When they wheeled me into the operating room Wake Me Up by Avicci was playing. Usually I listen to that song at the gym but it was perfect operation music. "So wake me up when it's all over." So they woke me up when it was all over and I had 3 holes in my belly.  My first thought was; I did it!!  It's over!!  Once the anesthesia wore off I moved onto the final recovery station before you get to go home.  It took me about an hour to eat 2 crackers because I was still nauseated.  I nibbled on them like a rabbit and was rewarded with two Percocet.  They don't rush you, but I was really tired and I know MJ was probably really over it by then.  Once I finally finished those crackers I moved onto next challenge.  Nobody goes home unless they demonstrate the ability to get up and go potty.  Less then two hours after surgery I was standing up and hobbling my way to the bathroom.  Standing up brought on more nausea so I asked for a barf bag just in case but I didn't need it.

I'm a big wimp and a huge chicken.  Like most people I hate needles and pain.  Surgery it not exactly something you put on your list of monthly goals but it felt like a big accomplishment.  As I was wheeled out of the hospital I felt really proud of myself for being stronger then I thought I would be.  MJ thought I'd be a complete disaster but I wasn't.   I didn't even take the anti anxiety meds that I asked my doctor to prescribe in case I needed it to get in the door.  The worse part really, was getting the IV-which they had to do twice because apparently I have tiny veins.  After that you are knocked out for everything else that's gonna hurt.  My doctor the surgeon was awesome and everyone was so nice. The pre op room is huge and kind of like an assembly line with rows of patients on each side waiting for the operating room but the nurses are so attentive. There is an entire team dedicated to getting you prepped, attending to your surgery and then taking care of you after.  They made me feel very comfortable and well cared for from start to finish. 

On the day of surgery I ate 9 crackers.  2 at the hospital and 7 later that night.  I call it the surgery diet.  I don't recommend it.  On Saturday I was still eating light.  MJ had football in the morning so my parents came down early to be with me.  My mom is so sweet.  She brought flowers and made me soup.  By Sunday my appetite was back to normal.   I've been eating leftovers for 3 days from a super bowl party I didn't even attend.  MJ went to his friend's house (with my blessing) to watch the game.  I ate a slice of pizza for dinner two nights in a row and today I started in on the Chili.  

On night one I was almost in tears trying to get up for the bathroom in the middle of the night but it's taking me less time to get up now and I'm getting more and more mobile every day.  Being forced to sleep on my back all night makes it hard to get comfortable and I miss cuddling with MJ but overall I'm doing okay.  The drugs are doing their thing so I haven't really been in too much pain.  Mostly just discomfort. Every time I move.   Totally manageable.

MJ has been taking such good care of me.  He makes sure I take my pills, he feeds me.  He took my bandages off when I was too scared too look at my incisions and coaxed me into the shower when I was afraid of getting them wet.  You gotta love a guy who helps you put on your underwear when you can barely stand up, waits on you hand and foot, sees you in tired old baggy pajamas for days and still calls you cute.  He's the best.   I don't know what I would have done without him. I am mad at him for "accidentally" scaring me so bad that I screamed hard enough to hurt my belly.  He's really going to have to stop that when we get old or he might cause a heart attack.

It's still really hard to believe that my only job for at least two weeks is to rest.  I can't drive.  I'm not supposed to be cleaning, doing errands or working out.  I can sit on the couch watching TV all day long and be a total and complete bum without guilt.   How often does one get an opportunity like this?   Pretty much never and it sucks that it requires major surgery to get it, but I'll take it.  I haven't gone anywhere since Friday's surgery.  It's like being on house arrest without the ankle bracelet and the introvert that I am is totally embracing it.  Normally I loathe the rain but after months of oddly warmer temps we finally got some.  I didn't mind it one bit because I got to burrow under the covers all morning and then spend all day in jammies.  I got out of bed when I felt like it and gingerly made my way downstairs to set up camp on the couch.

Mj thinks I'll get sick of it but I'm not so sure.

Scared

I really hate hospitals. Who doesn't? Every time I go to one I see something I wish I hadn't seen.  After I see it I can't just unsee it so there it is burning an impression in my mind until it finally fades away and I move onto something else to obsess over.

I was there for an MRI.  Gosh those machines are huge and loud.  I had dye injected in one arm and an organ relaxer in the other.  I'm so glad I didn't know that MRI's can come with shots or else it would have been one more thing for me to worry about.  I didn't find out until just before I changed  into my lovely hospital gown.  I survived and then I headed to the lab to do my blood work and went back to work only to feel like crap about 30 minutes later and have to leave early.  I guess it was all just a little too much for me.  When I got home I laid between the cool sheets burrowed under the covers and thought to myself that this time in two days I'm probably going to feel about 10x worse then this.  Maybe 50x worse even.  I napped and was thankful to feel like my old self again in a few hours.

Do yourself a favor and don't google your surgery before you have it.  I mean, it's a good idea to be well informed and the internet is nothing if not informative but the two weeks that I spent obsessively dredging the internet for every possible horror story known to man was pretty exhausting.   I mean, chances are you can't not do it but just know that it's probably going to freak you out more then anything.  It's really, really hard not to think of all the things that could go wrong but at some point you must take a chill pill and let it go.

If you are reading this right now it means I'm on my way to the hospital and it's taken a lot of soul searching, anxiety and second guessing to get here.  It's a hard decision to make when there are no solid answers. About anything. I haven't mentioned it to anyone I know outside of family.  Telling it makes it real. Your last day at works makes it even more real. I'm sort of in denial that it's happening because technically, even up until the moment I arrived at the hospital I could change my mind and bolt.  I never saw myself doing that but you can't tell someone that you are having surgery one day and then show up for happy hour the next.  You don't tell someone something like that unless you know for certain that you are which I did; except I like to keep my options open until the very last minute.  I have a very difficult time making decisions about even the smallest most insignificant things let alone the slicing of my skin.  If you are reading this right now it means I waited until the very last moment to hit publish just in case I changed my mind even though I knew that I wouldn't.

I wasn't sure if I'd mention it here, but it felt really weird not to.  Not that I tell you everything because I don't but this is a big deal and this is my blog and it really just felt like I should.  I don't know if or when I will feel comfortable talking about what kind of surgery I'm having but I know that today is not that day. This is my first "real" surgery anesthesia and all so I don't know how I'm going to feel or what to expect.  If I'm not active in blog land you'll know why.

Oh, and that thing I saw at the hospital that I wish I could unsee was a deceased person.  Not exactly the kind of thing you want to see on the eve of your first surgery or EVER for that matter.  Lying on a stretcher snugly wrapped in a blue blanket from head to toe was the unmistakable form of a person who had taken their last breath.  The worst thing about it is that the guy was lost.  He rolled that stretcher up and down the hallway right past me twice trying to figure out where he was going.  The MRI's are done on the basement level and I think that's also where the morgue is. 

I can't unsee it but I'm desperately trying to push that image out of my mind.  It's routine surgery.  The people who love me tell me that I will be okay and as terrified as I am I believe them.   I am young.  I'm healthy.  I'm strong.  I plan on taking lots of drugs.  I'll be okay.

Please send good thoughts my way. I'll check in when I can.

Restaurant Snob?

Biggest Naan I've ever seen and the best
On Saturday night we went to Ali Baba Restaurant.  It's on this random street next to a liquor store.  There is a bar across the street and no other restaurant in sight.  It doesn't offer much in the way of ambiance but I love it that it's in our neighborhood.  We don't have to drive downtown and hunt or pay for parking and they serve Naan bigger then the size of my head fresh out of the oven.  The food is delicious and the portions are generous.  We had an authentic Mediterranean Halal food experience right in our  backyard.  I honestly had no clue what type of food it was but that's what it says on their website.  We've been there twice now and plan to take my mother in law when she comes to visit.

There was a time when going to TGI Friday's or Applebee's would be my top pick for dining out on the weekends but over the last year or so I've fallen out of love with chain restaurants.  There is something about their mass produced energy that doesn't appeal to me so much anymore.  I think it's a combination of getting older and the plethora of great restaurants in our city to explore.  There are so many new ones popping up that I'll probably never get a chance to try them all.  I'm also not 100% driven by price when it comes to dining out like I was in my early 20's.  It's a factor for sure; but I'm not compelled to go somewhere just because I see a commercial advertising a 3 course combo for $10.99.
Top:  Chicken Tikka  Bottom:  Chicken Shawarma
Or maybe my husband is starting to rub off on me.  I call him a food snob.  He say's he just likes good food.  Or maybe he's not a food snob and I just wore him down with wanting to go the same places all the time.  When we were still dating On the Border was our spot.  He was still living about 1 1/2 hours away in Orange County.  He'd drive down to my house on Friday's and I'd rush home from work so we could make happy hour.  I got the chicken casadilla and he'd get the tacos.  We'd both get a beer or sometimes he'd get a Margarita.  It was cheap and tasted good to me.  After he got sick of that place we went through a TGI Friday's run until he refused to go there ever again and started saying how much he hated it.  Then it was Outback which is also on his hate list and in between we frequented Chili's and Applebee's quite a bit too.  In his opinion the food at non chain restaurants is better and he burns out with repetition while I'm pretty easy to please and could eat the same things at the same place every day.  I'm a creature of habit and not too adventurous when it comes to food but we started branching out for date nights and really haven't looked back.  

When I go out I want unique decor details and menu items that you can't get anywhere else.  I enjoy ambiance and an interesting vibe.  I love the friendly service and homey atmosphere that I get in little mom and pop places.  They seem to pay more attention to the quality of the food they serve and I like supporting small businesses.  It doesn't have to be fancy or hip.  We like discovering hole in the wall spots and places outside the trendy happening areas.  We are always open to trying new places and if the food and service is good we'll be back.  One of our new favorite spots is a place right down the street from us in a strip mall.  There is nothing fancy about it but the food is good, the people are friendly and we feel at home there.  MJ is such a regular they know him by name. 

I haven't sworn off chain restaurants indefinitely but it's not going to be my first choice and I'm not necessarily planning to go to one anytime soon.  I can't go the rest of my life without ever tasting Red Lobster's cheddar bay biscuits again and I have only found one restaurant that has lasagna I like as much Olive Garden's.  They say it's frozen but I don't care.  Even Italy couldn't outdo Lasagna Classico. And those bread sticks.  Denny's is a sentimental favorite of mine too.  I grew up going there and it was always my Birthday dinner pick.  My how times have changed.

Maybe I'm turning into a restaurant/food snob but I like to feel like I'm having some type of culinary experience.   I don't need a mouthwash dispenser in the bathroom but if I'm spending my time and money I want it to feel worth it and special in some way.  Chains just don't do it for me like they used to.

Nude is Boring

Nude nude is exciting but apparently a nude bra is not and the husband was starting to notice.  Why don't you ever wear the pretty colored bras?  I have pink and blue and grey with lace; all of which he bought me by the way since I'm too boring practical to buy anything but nude or black.  I explained to him that a nude seamless bra is a staple in a woman's lingerie arsenal because it goes well under absolutely everything.  I can put it on even if I don't know what I'm wearing yet and I automatically know that it's going to work under whatever I walk out the door in.  Plus, nude technically matches every single panty in my drawer.  Boring, but practical.  Since he notices such things I've been making an effort to put the more colorful bras into rotation.  And that's why I picked this bright blue bra from Adore Me.
Can I just say how much I love the Enika Push up?  This is the first non Victoria's Secret bra that I've owned in pretty much forever so I wasn't sure what to expect.  The material on the hipster panties is so stretchy and hugs my booty just right.  I won't have to worry about it riding up which I hate and the bra gives me the perfect amount of push up.

Adore Me Adrienne Push Up
Valentine's Day is just around the corner and Adore Me has a super sexy Valentine's Day collection.  Surprise him or surprise yourself with something different then what you already have.  They have that boring nude bra if you really need one; which we all do, but they have a lot of sexy and fun styles to choose from too.

Adore Me is a NYC-based fast fashion lingerie company offering designer lingerie, sleepwear and swimwear at affordable prices. We design for every kind of woman, and offer a wide range of styles and sizes, and even have styles that go up to size DD+ and above.  Customers are recommended to take the short Style Profile Quiz for a personalized shopping experience and showroom with selections best made for them.  Adore Me is a membership-based e-commerce site with special prices offered to VIP members, but also offers a Pay-As-You-Go service for customers who don't want to commit.  More Information here on how it works.  Finding the perfect fit can be tricky if you are doing it online but the return/exchange process is super easy and free.  You can put in an exchange request online, print out the shipping label and place a new order right away without having to wait or pay for a new order.  They just ask that you return the entire set within 30 days.

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Please Note:  I was given a complimentary lingerie set from Adore Me for review. However, the opinions expressed in this post are solely mine. 

I Follow Kids on Instagram

I confess that I totally forgot about jury duty over Christmas Break.  I meant to cancel it but then forgot and it dawned on me after New Year's that I was supposed to go.  I checked the website and it said "served" but I was still freaking out thinking I'd end up with a warrant out for my arrest so I called.  I did jury duty without actually doing it.  My name was called for a group that didn't get sent to a courtroom so even though I never showed up they checked me off as time served.  Easiest jury duty service I've ever done.

I cried almost to the point of sobbing watching Lone Survivor.  You know how if a baby starts to cry parents should take them out of the theater so as not to disturb other guests?  Well, I was that baby that would have had to leave if I couldn't get control of my tears.  It was so good and very well done but so sad.  It made my heart so heavy for the families who have lost their military men or have to deal with the fear of having a man in such a high risk occupation.  
I  confess that sometimes when I'm having an "ugly" day I snap a selfie.  Sometimes it confirms my suspicions and other times I am pleasantly surprised.

I've lost the ability to open our package delivery mailbox.  When USPS delivers a large package they put it in the larger box and put a key in our mailbox to open it.  It didn't used to be a problem but one day I tried opening it and couldn't.  I tried and tried on multiple days and even left a note saying that the key was defective.  It turns out I'm defective. MJ can get it open; I can't.  When a package comes he has to get it or else it will never come out.  I don't even want to think about what to do if a package comes in while he's out of the country.


I confess that I follow pre teen dancers on Instagram.  What can I say?  I love Dance in general and Dance Mom's in particular so I started following Nia, Maddie and Chloe.  They are so cute!  Then through those accounts I ended up following a few other dancers.  They are so flexible and they post really beautiful pics with their backs bent in half and legs at a backwards 90 degree angle.  Do they have bones?  I mean look at this girl.  It's not natural.  These kids are REALLY popular.  Ashi has 177k  and Kalanih has 233k followers!!!




I confess that when I'm doing yoga and the instructor gives certain directions sometimes I have no idea what they are talking about but I try to do it anyways.   Here are some examples:  The tailbone meets the pubis and the pubis still meets tailbone.  Feel the undulation of your breath moving through your spine.  Breathe into your side ribs.  Move your sacrum deep into the body.  Connect your legs to the length of your spine. Keep the skin of the back smooth, breathing and open.  Draw the energy of your legs into your spine.  Uh...what was that?? 

I still don't understand the i cloud.  I love it that it allows me to sync my i Pad with my i Phone so I probably just need to give up on understanding the how and just be glad that it does whatever it does however it does it.

Linking up with Leslie @Blonde Ambition.