My Boyfriend's Back

My husband is back! I confess that I may or may not have picked him up from the airport wearing a sheer nighty and a thong.  You know.  Just to spice things up a little.  Just kidding.  Not really.  I'll let you decide.  

There is gonna be a whole lot of shit everywhere now. His words not mine and he has certainly delivered on that.  He has also delivered on being the cutest man ever and even though my undiagnosed OCD is kicking in big time I'm glad to have him home. I kind of feel like my space is being invaded which is totally not true considering we bought this house together and have been living in it together for 3 years.  There is always this weird transition period that occurs whenever he comes home from an extended absence. I'm almost surprised to see him in the house when I walk in the door after work.  His presence has busted me out of my quiet little self contained bubble.  Like, what?  There is someone else in the house?  I have somebody to talk to and cuddle with?  When you are alone you just kind of float about the house without regard to anyone or anything but when you are in a couple there is someone to consider.  There is someone who wants to watch the football game on the big TV downstairs at 5:30pm.  Someone that might wonder where you are if you've gone and disappeared upstairs for a few hours.  There is an adjustment period when he leaves as I get thrown into the solo life AND when he comes back as I get adjusted to WE instead of just ME, ME, ME.  And it's a good adjustment to make.

Amazingly enough, I actually kept him fed for two dinners on the chicken breasts I made the day before he came home.  He took Monday off to recover from his travels and of top priority that day was grocery shopping.  He had the nerve to assume there wasn't much food in the house and well....he was right.  You know how I do.  Then he turned around and made this delicious healthy version of a Philly cheese steak sandwich for dinner on Wednesday.  So good.  He's baaaack!!!  Good lovin', good cooking, and a good man.  What more can I ask for?  Okay, so maybe it would be pretty cool if he could pick some of his clothes off the floor but you know what they say?  Marriage is about compromise.  I'm no walk in the park myself.  We will be having Subway for dinner tonight.  My pick. 

Now that he's back I finally got to watch Breaking Bad.  Now I know what my co workers have been whispering about and if you aren't already watching you should be.  It is CRAY!!!  I pretty much HATE Walter White.  He is cold, evil and power hungry.  The best thing about hating Walter is that I'm not freaking out about whether or not he dies, gets away with it or gets locked up.  I don't care one way or another and it has eased the anxiety that I would have if I actually cared.  The latest episodes have been so dark.  I always feel a little stunned after watching.  We are all caught up and will be able to watch the season finale with everyone else.  I cannot wait. 

Oh California how I love you.  Good old San Diego is hanging onto Summer by it's fingertips and that is just fine by me.  It's still a little chilly in the morning but by the afternoon it's been anywhere between 77-79 which is pretty darn perfect if you asked me.  Fall can take as long as it wants to show up.  There is plenty of time for boots and leggings.

We are already booked for Saturday.  He could not wait.  He literally made these plans while he was still out of the country.  We will be having dinner and maybe a movie at Cinepolis with friends.  I'm happy to be dating my husband again and I anticipate some movie watching and cuddle time on the couch too.

Now I just need this darn work day to be over so I can get on with it.

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Thermostat Wars: Him vs Me

When it gets warmer outside it gets warmer inside and when it gets warmer inside the AC goes on. And when the AC goes on so begins the AC wars. I'm always cold. He's always hot. So you can imagine the kind of battles we have in our household.   When we first moved into our house he thought it was cool to have the thermostat running on low all day long.  I was skeptical (and cold) but I didn't argue.  Some theory about your bill being lower if you just keep it cool so that the system doesn't have to work so hard cooling it down after it gets too warm.  Our electric bill told a different story so we don't do that anymore.  That theory is bunk as far as I'm concerned.

This is what Air Conditioning can do to you

But every year the minute the weather starts warming up his first instinct is to run to the thermostat and crank it down to arctic freeze.  I know it's warmer now, but do we really want our electric bill to double?  He literally wants to freeze me out of  house and home.  I complain and reach for my granny robe even though it's almost Summer and 90 degrees outside.  We take turns turning it up and down on each other.  In my book anything below 74 is ridiculous unless I'm working out and leaving it that low overnight is way too cold AND expensive when a fan can do the job.  Or an open window.  Either way, I often find myself going to bed in a cute nightie and waking up looking like a bag lady as I blindly reach for more clothes to put on throughout the night.  After a year of seasons in our house I figured out in general when it should come on and off and at what temperature.  We aren't always home on weekends so it's set really high or really low depending on the season so it doesn't come on unless we adjust it so it's not running all day in case we forget to turn it off.  He better not mess with my thermostat settings but I can't do anything about him sneaking over there before bed and putting it on whatever he wants to.  

He does the same thing but in reverse when it starts to get cold.  As soon as it starts getting chilly in the house he goes for broke and starts cranking up the heat except this time he's the one complaining about being too cold.   I tell him to put on more clothes.  If you can put on some pants and a robe and not be cold then do that first before costing us money by running over to the thermostat says the bag lady.  I mean, that's what I do.  If I have to be a bag lady then he can be a bag man every now and then.

My dad is the exact same way only 10x worse and he absolutely refuses to listen to reason.  He turns on the heat full blast until the house is a sauna and my mom is always the one who has to turn it off.  What is it with men and their thermostat?  Or is it just that I'm cheap?  Probably a little bit of both.  When I lived alone in my condo I had one of those built in Electric AC Units that sit right below the window.  There were times I'd literally be sitting up in my house sweating because I didn't want to use it.  Mj does not believe in suffering when he doesn't have to so he places comfort over budget every time.  I on the other hand am a glutton for punishment.  If it will save me money I'm willing to suffer a little bit.

The good news is that once we settle into the new climate he tends to back off a little and let my strategically planned thermostat settings do it's thing.  I'm cold, he's hot, I put on more clothes, he has to take some off.  We figure it out.  It's just one more training exercise in compromise.

Linking up with Shanna for Random Wednesday.

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8 Tips For a Happy Marriage

Please read this post because I deleted the entire thing and had to start from scratch!!  I was totally demoralized but determined that this post should be written so I dusted myself off and did it all over again.

Mj and I have been together for five years and we have never had an argument.  I can hardly even believe that myself.  We don't always agree but we come from a similar enough starting point that it just works.  We push and pull each other with just the right amount of force so that it never results in a verbal altercation.  Our biggest issue is that he's on the messy side and I'm a neat freak who sometimes nags.  If that's our biggest problem I figure we are doing something right.  We are far from perfect but these are some things that have been working for us.  There really is no magic secret to a happy marriage.  Everybody is different and carries their own personality, baggage and expectations into a relationship making each one unique.  What works for one couple may not work for another.  There is no one size fits all solution but we can still learn a lot from one another.

Pic from Christmas Day last year // No white Christmas around these parts

First of all, it really helps if you are compatible.  This is not really a tip.  I'm just stating the obvious.  They say opposites attract but if you don't agree on anything in life it will be really hard to make a relationship work.  Perhaps not impossible just a lot harder.  And not that you want to be with a carbon copy of yourself but it helps if you share similar values, morals and beliefs.  It will be that much easier to relate to each other, get along and deal with life.

1.  Never forget why you fell in love with each other in the first place. We get annoyed at each other.  Sometimes our partners drive us nuts.  It's going to happen.  But anything that bothers me about Mj is insignificant compared to the many things about him that I love. If there are more things about your partner that you don't love then things that you do love that's a problem.

2.  Respect each other. You don't always have to like your partner but I think it's really important to respect them as a person.  Respect breeds trust, kindness and empathy for one another.  It sets the tone for how you relate to each other which sets the foundation for how you handle problems and disagreements.   

3.  Communication.  Tell him what's wrong.  Men are not mind readers and we can't expect them to be.  If I'm visibly disgruntled and Mj asks me what's wrong if I don't tell him that's it.  He will not ask again and my pouting goes ignored.  This is actually a good thing because it makes me realize how much time I'm wasting stewing alone in my anger.  Lack of communication is so often the root of arguments.  Typical scenario.  She's mad but won't say why.  He get's annoyed because she's stomping around yet won't say what the problem is.  Now they are both annoyed.  Any little thing can set either one of them off and the next thing you know there is a fight.  It's best to avoid that whole charade altogether.  If I'm just in a mood and there is no reason for me to be grumpy I apologize in advance and tell him it's not him it's me.  I just need to be a brat right now and he lets me be.  And if it is him that's bothering me even though it's hard I need tell him.  Being upset about it but keeping it to yourself accomplishes nothing.  The longer you wait the more the situation festers and then it's even worse down the road. 

4.  Think of yourselves as a team.  Don't keep score and don't play the blame game.  Just because he screws up it certainly doesn't give you a pass to do something wrong out of spite.  Our mama's taught us this one.  Two wrongs don't make a right.   It's also very destructive to keep score and then throw the mistake back in each others faces later.  It only builds resentment over time and creates a you vs him type of dynamic which is terrible for a relationship.  Nobody is perfect.  People make mistakes.   We need to learn to forgive each other and move on.   Together.

5.  Pick your battles because you will never win them all nor should you because a relationship is about compromise.  You will never get him to understand or agree to your point of view on everything and vice versa.  Push for what's important and pull back on the rest.  Ideally, he will do the same thing for you and you can meet each other half way on most things.

6.  Be willing to admit when you are wrong.  Nobody likes a know it all who always has to be right and have the last word.  All it does is build resentment over time.   

7.  Never stop dating.  It's good for you to see each other in something other then hang around the house comfy cotton casuals.  Have fun together!!  Going out and doing fun things together reminds you of when you first started dating which makes you feel all lovey dovey inside which can do wonders for helping to keep the romance alive.  

8.  Give each other space.  Mj and I lived in a 400 square foot studio condo for about 6 months and it was really hard.  We were basically living on top of each other and that makes anything that annoys you about your partner multiply by 10 because it's in your face all the time.  At first I missed being able to see him all the time when we moved into our house but having two living spaces not to mention two sinks has been wonderful.  Sometimes you just need moments to yourself to just BE.  Take moments away from each other.  Do things apart.  Have experiences apart from each other so that you can come together and share what you've been up to.  Miss each other a bit even if it's just for a few hours.  It makes you even that much more appreciative of your time together. 

I am no expert.  Half of the advice I give are things that I'm still working on myself.  This is my 2nd marriage.  I have screwed up in the past and don't know everything but I have learned a lot from my mistakes.  There are many times where I don't feel worthy of this wonderful sexy man that I have managed to snag.  But lucky for me I love him, he loves me and we are both willing to put in the effort it takes to make our relationship work.  It's a work in progress but that's okay as long as we're both committed to working on it.

Linking up with Emily from Newlywed Moments.

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That Time I Got Ditched on Valentine's Day

I could have skipped this post altogether.  I mean, this isn't exactly the Valentine's Day post I expected to write but this is how it went down so I'm sharing it anyways.

My husband hates Valentine's Day.  I knew he hated this so called fake Hallmark holiday but for the last four years he's played along.  Special deliveries at work, a specially baked dessert, a dinner out.  It's always been very low key but we have acknowledged the holiday for my sake, but this year I got ditched.  He finally had enough and boycotted the whole thing altogether.  We didn't have plans together, but I certainly didn't expect him to leave me at home alone and go out to dinner with anyone else.  I find out that he's going to dinner with the guys for burgers after work.  Half the guys that went are married.  Sounds like the ultimate F you Valentine's Day if you ask me.

Am I hurt?  I have to be honest and say yes, but not mortally wounded since I was never really all that crazy about Valentine's anyways.  I've never placed much importance on what I got or what we did, but I did enjoy it.  I don't see anything wrong with an extra day to celebrate love.  He doesn't like the idea that there is a certain arbitrary date on which men specifically, receive a lot of extra pressure to do something that will show love.  My husband's tolerance for this day has clearly run it's course.  He wasn't having it this year, and while it's a little bit of a bummer, I'm okay with it.  And here's why.  I love my husband and I know he loves me.  I don't need Valentine's day to know this.  I don't want him feeling roped into doing something he really doesn't want to on my account.  If it's not genuine, there's no point and we didn't get married so we could force each other to do things we really don't want to do.  Sometimes we do things we don't want to in marriage for our partner, but Valentine's Day is just not important enough to me that it should qualify as one of those things he does anyway.  I see no need to force it upon my husband if he doesn't want to partake.  Marriage is about give and take, and it looks like it's my turn to be the one to give on this one.

It was like a parade of sweets, flowers, love notes and special dinners on Instagram, but I didn't have a thing to show off except these little conversation hearts I bought myself at Big Lots.  The upside is that I didn't get the chance to OD on sweets or gorge myself at a restaurant.  I spent the evening alone watching a movie on Netflix and eating Cheese Quesadilla's with carb stopper tortillas.  It was a little bit of a let down to be shut out of the V day festivities, but I realize that my marriage is more then what I did or didn't get on Valentine's day.

A tiny part of me wanted to pout and throw a little hissy fit over it, but I put on my big girl panties and sucked it up.  We didn't make plans, so in his mind Valentine's Day was a non thing, however it still meant something to me so I thought we'd just spend a cozy night at home.  I didn't realize we weren't acknowledging it all, since we'd always done so in the past.  Whelp.  I certainly know now.  I told him I felt sad and hurt that he went out, but that's it.  No point in getting super offended over something like this, when I have such a wonderful husband.  He's kind, generous, and he puts up with all of my crazy ways.  We do fun things together all the time, and show our love for each other on other days in other ways.  I felt pretty spoiled on my Birthday and Christmas.  Not getting this one day is no big deal in the grand scheme of things.  After you've been together for a while there comes a point where it just doesn't matter that much anyways.  He loves me for who I am, and I have to return the favor even if it means Valentine's Day is a thing of the past. 

And yes, I did get him something.  Just some football attire he needed.  It was not romantic in any way, but I did put a sweet handwritten note with it.  I can't really say I got nothing in return though, because I got him.

Tiffany Blue

My Tiffany's collection//This year's Christmas present on the left and the necklace he gave me four years ago

I was not expecting jewelry this year based on what I saw under the tree. All the boxes were way too big but he tricked me!  I saved the largest box for last and it ended up holding the smallest present.  I unwrapped one large box only to find another smaller wrapped box. I unwrapped that box to find an oddly shaped package and inside that was a Tiffany Bag.  Inside the bag was the distinctive box in Tiffany Blue that every girl fantasizes about.  There is just something about that color and that box.  That pretty little box tied with a satin ribbon is sure to hold a beautiful treasure.  Inside was a silver necklace with a pink ballet slipper charm.  

Please return to Tiffany & Co New York

He told me right away we could take it back if I didn't like it but it's always hard to tell someone that you want to exchange their gift. The way I see it you might as well be honest about those things.  Tiffany's is not cheap and I would hate to keep something he spent his hard earned money on that hadn't totally captured my heart.  While we were getting dressed Christmas morning I told him that I liked the charm and I can see why he picked it for me.  I love how thoughtful he was in picking it out but that it just wasn't me. He was fine with it and said I could get something else which I didn't expect.  He'd gotten me other gifts so I thought we'd just return it.  When I tried this bracelet on I knew right away that it was perfect.  I'm no glamour girl.  I can't be bothered with full on make up or accessorizing every single day.  I love jewelry that is pretty but also functional and durable so I can wear it to work, to the gym, in the shower and sleep in it without even having to spend time taking it off.  Jewelry I can live in and wear every day with everything; like my wedding rings.  Both my Tiffany's pieces allow me to do that.  I was giddy with excitement before the guy even wrapped it up and I gave Mj a big kiss on the cheek and told him how much I loved it.  It worked out for him because I actually saved him some money on the deal!  He said I could pick out another thing but the bracelet was perfect and it was enough so I didn't.  It worked out for me because I have a bracelet I love from a man I love.  I can wear it every day and be reminded of what a sweet husband I have.  

So what is it about Tiffany & Co?  Well, it's only been around for 175 years.  They've even trademarked the color Tiffany Blue.  It can't be used to advertise or package anything else that is associated with or might be in direct competition.  They specialize in Silver which has always been my favorite.  Tiffany's is luxury and their jewelry is not only beautiful but very well made.  It represents the finer things in life wrapped up with a pretty bow and even us regular folks enjoy having a piece of it.  Having something from Tiffany's makes me feel special yes, but it's having something from Tiffany's that my husband bought me that means the most.

 

Love and Glasses

When I first met my husband I had just finished a modeling job so I was in heavy full on make up.  I'm talking totally airbrushed and with hair styled to perfection.  After that there is really nowhere else to go but down!  I remember hoping that he would still think I looked okay when he saw me on our next date in my usual minimalist make up look.  He did.  I've always hated my toes and I remember not really wanting him to see them.  Will he still like me after he sees my toes?  He did.  I remember feeling nervous the first time he ever saw me in my glasses and with my hair all wrapped up for bed.  There is that moment where you are like, okay it's about to get real right now and if he really likes you nothing will change.  And it didn't.  So why is it that four years later after he's seen me at my best AND absolute worst did I ever doubt him?

The Glasses

I got new glasses August.  It's probably been about 3 years since I had a new pair.  I mostly wear contacts when I'm going out and keep the glasses at home so it's not something I want to spend money on every year.   Typically I end up with a pair that looks exactly like the ones before so this time I really tried to get something different.  I found some with Brown square just slightly larger frames instead of the usual Black.  They looked really cute when I tried them on at the optometrist that day but when MY pair came in MY prescription it was another story.  I've been wearing glasses since 4th grade and my eyes are really bad.  I'm talking -10 Rx bad; and if you wear glasses or contacts then you probably know just how bad that is.  I had a detached retina in my right eye that occurred out of the blue for no apparent reason other then poor vision.  It normally takes a blow to the eye to detach a retina so that should give you some idea of how terrible my vision is.  Nothing ever seems to look too cute in my prescription even with the super high index lenses to thin them out.  As I've gotten older I am not as self conscious about wearing my glasses in public now and then but when I saw myself in these new glasses it set me back about 15 years.  They looked awful, I felt hideous and I just wanted to hide.  Mj was out of the country and when I skyped with him I refused to wear them.  Even though the suckers cost me about $300 bucks I put them back in the case and refused to wear them for about a week.  I came to my senses and realized I can't waste money like that and started wearing them again but I brought my old glasses when I met Mj in Europe for our vacation.  I couldn't bear to have him see me in the new ones until we got back.  All these irrational thoughts ran through my head about how Mj would take one look at me and wonder how it is that he ended up married to such an unsightly woman.  Just one look and he'd be ready to file for divorce.  I know, I know; very extreme conclusions to jump to over a pair of glasses but when you are feeling really down on yourself and insecure sometimes you can't help such irrational thoughts from crossing your mind and when they do you even start to believe them no matter how crazy they may seem.

Mj and I were relaxing on the couch over the weekend and he said "See...you're wearing the new ones.  You look cute in your glasses.  And I like it that I can look at you first thing in the morning when you wake up and still think you're cute."  I smiled and got all warm and glowy inside.  It was one of those moments that I said to my self, God I love this man.  My heart even melted just a little because somehow he knew that I needed to hear those words and not only did he say them to me on that night but he's said it to me before.  Sometimes I still have to pinch myself to believe that I have such a wonderful husband but it's true and I should have known that he loves me enough to see beyond a pair of nerdy glasses. 

And that's the goal ladies when it comes to relationships; or at least one of them.  Not to be cute in the morning or look good in glasses necessarily, but to have a man who believes that you do and makes you feel good about yourself no matter what.  Someone with whom you can truly be yourself without judgement or fear of rejection and still feel loved and wanted.  Bump around the house with messy hair and wear the same comfy pajamas all week.  Say what you think, act how you are and look like yourself.  If he is the "one" you can be who you are it won't matter and he will love you for it because you are YOU.   I hear about women who have husbands that have never seen them without make up or without their hair fully "done".  They probably feel about being bare faced and natural the way I initially felt in those new glasses but ultimately I couldn't keep them hidden forever no matter how unattractive I felt.  Our relationship is way more then the sum of my glasses wearing, sloppy T-shirt, messy haired no make up days and I should never have thought anything different.

Meet you in Barcelona

Things were a little different around here with the husband gone. For starters, there was no cooking so the kitchen did not see much use. If I had to make a stop after work it didn't bother me much because it didn't feel like there was anything to rush home to. There's nobody home but me so what difference does it make? The AC was off way more then it was on and there was nothing out of place. As much as I  loved our clutter free house I would rather trip over 5 pairs of shoes a day and wear sweaters and blankets so I don't freeze to death then to have him be so far away for too long. I miss him. I miss us watching movies and cuddling. I miss seeing his cute face when I get home from work and acting silly together. It was only 6 weeks this time.  I can say only because a couple of years ago it was 11. Months.  When he was in Germany we still got to talk and Skype but for the last three weeks he was in Croatia.  I've been feeling totally cut off and it's kind of frustrating.  There are things I want to tell him but can't get across via text.  I have really important things to ask him like whether we should go to Marseilles or Aix En Provence and why or if he could tell me just one more time how to start his new car with the block for a key.  Should I be offended that he reminded me to open the garage door before I ran the engine or just find it sweet that he doesn't want me to die?

Months of research and anticipation have come down to this.  I have a folder full of boarding passes, train tickets, hotel confirmations, self written tour guides and itineraries.  I am nothing if not organized and prepared.  It's funny because Mj has almost no idea of what we're doing on this trip because I planned it all and haven't been able to discuss any of the final details with him.  It'll be a nice surprise for him.  I still cannot believe that I am going to Europe.  Like a wedding, an awesome honeymoon and buying a house it's one more thing that I just figured I would never get to do but like all those others it has become reality.  Mj has been by my side for all of it.  I don't know what I would do without him in my life.

Dropping him off at the airport not only began the six week countdown until I'd get to see him again but also to our vacation. Saying good bye at the airport that morning sucked but it was so cool to be able to say "Meet you in Barcelona" and actually mean it. I felt like I was in a movie.  A really cool romantic comedy; until I drove home, went to back to sleep and nothing all that exciting happened when I woke up. The only good thing about being separated are the heart swooning reunions and I think this might be our best one yet. The only thing that would make it more romantic is if we were reuniting in the romantic city of Paris instead of Barcelona but that's okay because we'll be there just a week later.  I can totally picture it my head.  We'll be hand in hand staring up at the Eiffel Tower.  Together.

Four Years Later.....

July 10, 2010.  Right after saying "I Do."

Our wedding day was July 10, 2010 and Two years later....

We're enjoying our first home together that we moved into just 1 1/2 months before our wedding.
I still feel honored to be his wife and call him my husband.
I am still dazzled by my three ring bling and catch myself staring down at them.  
My heart still swells when I recall our wonderful wedding day filled with friends, family and celebration.  I'll always remember it as one of the happiest days of my life.
I still remember that magical feeling of being a princess Queen for a day.
I know I picked the right wedding recessional song because it still brings tears to my eyes when I hear it and reminds me of how lucky I am to have found him.
I still love my wedding dress and know it was perfect for me.
I still plan on preserving said wedding dress (still hanging in my closet) in a box so it'll take up less space and I can have it to look at it forever.
I'm still wearing my wedding shoes.  Silver gladiator flats from Macy's for only $32 bucks thank you very much!
I'm still obsessed with my wedding pictures.  I love, love, LOVE them!
I've finally accepted the passing of my joyful and exciting bride to be days and no longer ache with a yearning to do it all over again.
I still can't believe that I managed to pull off such an awesome wedding for only $11,275.
We still have not popped open that bottle of Dom Perignon.  I'm still waiting for the perfect time...yes, two years later.  It's expensive stuff!
I still feel so fortunate that I got to have a wedding at all.  It truly was a fairytale moment for me.
I have the best memories of our perfect Oahu honeymoon and am looking forward to our next big vacation later this year.

A wedding gift not yet opened

Vegas 2008

Vegas 2008

We met on March 15, 2008 and Four years later......

He still makes my heart happy.
I'm still excited to see him when I get home.
We're still dating and the romance is alive and well.
He is still the most handsome man in the world.
I still crave his touch, hugs and kisses.
I still look at him with love in my eyes.
He still means the world to me.
I still miss him when we are apart.
I still think of him randomly throughout the day and it makes me smile.
He is still my best friend and we have so much fun together.
He still makes me want to be a better person.
I am still amazed by his overall awesomeness and thrilled that I managed to snag such a good guy.
I finally believe that I deserve this love and that I give to him almost as much as I get back.

Wedding Day Recaps & Pics

When My Husband is Away

I'm not one of those women who has never spent a night away from her husband.  Mj was gone for eleven months in 2008 (now that was awful) and he did a ton of traveling in 2011.  I actually consider myself lucky if he has to go somewhere and it's for a month or less because it's nothing compared to 11 months.  Back when I still watched it there was a couple on Real Housewives of Orange County who claimed to have never spent a night apart and even refused to go on any overnight trips without the other and I thought that was ridiculous.  If it's a trust issue then that seriously needs to be addressed.  I think that couple is divorced now.  Just because you are married doesn't mean that you should be joined at the hip.  Everyone needs their own space even if it's just spending a day or evening with your friends.  Even if you think you don't chances are that you actually do.  Codependency is not healthy and absence can make the heart grow fonder.  If  it's Europe, Hawaii or something big I want that trip to be with Mj and if he thinks he's going somewhere like that without me he's got another think coming.  He and his friends do long weekend biking or Vegas trips.  I miss him and I might get a little jealous about being left behind, but I think it's great to see him get out and have fun with his friends.  He wants the same thing for me.  In fact he wishes I would! I hardly ever go anywhere overnight and the one time that I did he said how cool it was having the house to himself.  I know he loves me and doesn't want me to go away forever so there is no point getting my feelings hurt about it. 

This time he was gone for a week.  I love him to pieces but there are some perks when he's gone. 

• I get to park in the middle of our two car garage and have plenty of room to get in and out on all sides.  My backing up skills are questionable and having that extra space means I don't have to worry about knocking my side view mirror off or backing over the lawn.
• The house is neat as a pin.  There isn't random stuff laying about everywhere I look.  There are no clothes on the floor, shoes strewn about or dishes piled up in the kitchen to stress me out.    
• I don't have to cook or feel bad about not cooking. I can eat whatever I want for dinner and not have to answer to anyone.  
• I get way more much needed sleep! I've been in bed by 10:00 pm every work night he's been gone because I'm not trying to stay up longer then I should waiting for him to go to bed.
• I'm willing to spend the night at my mom's.  I stayed there Saturday night and got in some good quality family time.  I do go to Mom's house without him but it's really hard for me to stay the night when I know he's at home. 

The downside:

• I have to push the trash bin out onto the street and sometimes water the plants. 
• If there are any technical difficulties with the TV or my computer I'm on my own.   Usually, I just whine to him that my computer or the TV is not doing such and such and then he'll fix it for me.
• If there is a spider I'm forced to kill it myself, trap it under a cup (yes, I really did this one time) or live in fear.  He is the designated spider killer due to phobias which are beyond my control.   
• I don't have my cuddle bear to watch TV with and sleep with.   
• I come home to an empty lonely house and I don't get to see his smiling face at the end of a long and tiring work day.  We don't do much of anything on weeknights but I love it that we are together.
• I MISS HIM!!!!! He energizes me and lifts my spirits.  Life just isn't the same without him around and I'm always glad to have him back.

Just because we enjoy time apart doesn't mean we don't love each other.  I could totally just be saying this because we had no choice in the matter which kind of forced me to get used to the idea of him being gone, but I do think it can be a good thing to have that feeling of missing your partner now and then.  I wouldn't choose it, but it does reinforce just how much I love him and makes me appreciate him that much more when he gets back.

Flaws and All

Four years ago today I stood on the sidewalk outside of the downtown convention center on a cold rainy day huddled under an umbrella.  When the Silver SUV pulled up to the hotel parking lot next door I peered through the rain and paused for a second before dashing over to the car and getting in.  Hello's were exchanged and then we decided where to go for dinner.   Two weeks prior my friend gave him my number and texted me a pic she took with her cell phone so this was not only our first date but our first time ever meeting each other.  Afterward, I was asked how the date went.   I shrugged my shoulders.  It was fun.  I don't know.  He made me laugh and he was cute but I was highly independent and skeptical.  We'll see.  Four years later that man in the silver SUV is my husband and we are settling into married life.  We are adapting to each others quirks.  Learning of our strengths and weaknesses together and as individuals is an ongoing process.  The so called "honeymoon phase" of dating is different then married life.  It's the natural progression of a relationship and I embrace it just as I took delight in those early getting to know you dates.  

Four years later there are moments when I can't believe that he loves me.  I mean, I know he does it's just that some days I don't feel so lovable.  There are days when I come home from work and an exhausting work out at the gym.  I am tired.  The day has been long and I am agitated for no reason at all.  I walk in and see his wonderful face without really seeing it.  I am so caught up in my need to get in the house and begin my nightly ritual that gets me unwound and ready for bed within the next few hours.  I have had zero time to myself all day and with the night half over I know I won't be getting very much before bedtime.  I am distracted and annoyed that there aren't more hours in the day.  My husband asks me if I will cut up the strawberries and I give him the look.  Are you kidding me?  I just got home and I still have yesterday's laundry to fold.  In that moment I don't like myself.  I love my husband more then anything  but I am just too tired and sore to be bothered with Strawberries.  Cooking under the best of circumstances is a chore for me.  Martha Stewart I am not and  I have yet to unlock my Joy of Cooking so if the way to a man's heart is only through his stomach I'm in big trouble.  Sometimes I feel so undeserving.  I am the wicked witch of the west and he has a heart of gold.  I wish that I had the wherewithal to be anything and everything he needs me to be at all times and at the same time I know that it's not possible.  I am hopelessly flawed but I really do want to be better then I am.  He makes me want to be better but that is an ever evolving work in progress and I have to realize that better isn't likely to ever be perfection. I look at him and hope against hope that this wonderful love we have will survive my flaws because to not have him would be worse then anything else I could ever imagine.

At the end of the night when we cuddle together on the couch and watch a bit of TV before bed.  Not only do I see his wonderful face but I feel it resting on my cheek.  I am struck once again by just how lucky I am.  I have this wonderful person by my side.  I don't have to walk through this world alone.  He loves me when I don't even like myself.  He forgives me for my mistakes and has shown me so much love and compassion even when I am critical and selfish.  When I refuse to cut strawberries or I ask him two five times too many to do something. This realization renews my resolve to be better and do better so that I can be the best wife that I can be...flaws and all.

"Flaws and All" by Beyonce 

I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.
[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you [3x]

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that's exactly what I mean.
[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
and that's why I love you [3x]
[Repeat Chorus]

He Hates Valentine's Day

Out to dinner

My lasagna was delicious. I had warm bread and sparking wine with it.

We were in the car on our way to dinner and I mentioned that the street corner flower/balloon booths were already setting up shop to cash in on Valentine's Day.  "I hate Valentine's Day."  Those were the exact words that came out of my husband's mouth.  I immediately slammed on the breaks and pulled over to the side of the road and told him we would not be going any further unless he took it back because I can't be married to someone who hates Valentine's Day and we 'aint gettin' a divorce.  We never made it to dinner.  Okay totally joking!!!  It is true that my husband hates Valentine's Day but I'm okay with that as long as he indulges my girly romantic side at least a little bit.  I don't expect nor do I want a big to do about Valentine's Day but a little somethin' somethin' is nice.  Tuesday is really not the best day to celebrate anything so we were headed out to dinner on Sunday at Il Postino's; this cute little Italian restaurant Mj had been wanting to try. 

 

Me and my cookie Bouquet

That morning at work I got a very special delivery of of giant monster sized iced sugar cookies and balloons.  Oh, how I love these cookies.  I like flowers but they die and I can't eat them.  I got him a nice 90 minute massage using good old Groupon which I know he can really use right now because he's been working out almost every day.

Not so fancy V Day Dinner:  Cabbage & Rice with Turkey Sausage

Valentine's day dinner was Cabbage and Rice with Turkey Sausage.   It's good and all but not exactly my idea of a "special" dinner.  It's something I know how to make and we already had the meat so I went with it.  I haven't been in the kitchen much so I think it was a nice treat that I cooked for him even if it was just something simple.  It was actually pretty tasty but not even close to what Mj made for dinner last year on Valentine's Day.  After dinner we chilled out on the couch and watched Teen Mom 2 and then I worked on our budget.  I know....way romantic.

It's a fake commercial holiday with no historical significance whatsoever made up so that people can make money.  There is no point of making one day to express love when you can do it all year long or on a day that actually has some real meaning like an anniversary.  Blah, Blah, blah.  I get it and even agree to some extent but I still have a soft spot for February 14th.  My husband hates Valentine's Day but he loves me!  So it works.

40 Years

Me and the rents on my wedding day

I don't know the origins of it but there are designated traditional wedding gifts for every anniversary year from 1-75.  I don't think I'll live long enough to be with my husband for 75 years but if by some miracle I did, then I know that our gift to each other that year is supposed to be diamonds.  Year 3 is leather, year 6 is candy, year 15 is crystal and year 30 is pearls.  According to the list year 40 is a Ruby.  My parents just celebrated their 40th anniversary and a month ago my mom was thisclose to giving my dad a kidney.  Now that is off the charts awesome in terms of a gift right?  An organ from your very own body is way more precious then diamonds.  It is the ultimate gift of life and health.  My mom was a match and right in the middle of the testing process.  It turns out she didn't have to donate but she was willing and ready to do it.  

On October 24th they got the call.  My mom picked up the phone and the lady said, "Does your husband still want a kidney?"  My mom said, "YES."  A donor kidney had finally became available and by 7:00am they were at the hospital and my dad was getting tested and prepped for transplant surgery.  It took longer then we thought it would; about 5 hours.  My dad pulled through with flying colors.  He was in ICU for a day then got moved to his regular room.  Just one week after surgery he got to go home.  The doctors said the kidney was "lazy."  My dad was really disappointed to still have to do dialysis even after the long awaited healthy kidney but we hoped that it would start doing it's job very soon and it did.  On November 9th he was taken off of dialysis.  No more would he have to spent 4 hours a day 3 days a week hooked up to a machine to do what his kidneys no longer would.  He actually has three kidneys now.  Turns out they actually leave the non working ones in and just add the new one. 

Now there are doctors appointments several days a week and a stock pile of pills that need to be taken in addition to his insulin.  My mom took off work and has been right there by his side taking care of him and helping him manage just as she has been through this entire process.  Just as she has been for the last 40 years.  In sickness and in health, through good times and bad.  I can't count how many times I shook my head in anger over things that were going on in that relationship but my mom's love for him has never wavered; and despite actions that may speak to the contrary neither has his for her.  My mom is as forgiving as she is generous and my dad is as loveable as he is stubborn.  When you love someone like that you will do anything to save their life.  You are selfless if a little selfish because not only will you do what it takes to make sure that person is okay but you also can't bear to imagine a world in which they do not exist and want to keep them with you.  My dad feels healthier and more energetic then he has in a long while.  He needs to keep up the exercise and eating right.  This is a new lease on life and he need not waste it.  Not only for himself but for the people who love him.  I don't like to think of my parents getting older.  For my whole life they've just always been there and that's how I want it to stay.   I'd like to think that they will be here forever.  Just as I'd like to think that my husband and my sisters and anybody else I care about will be too.   

Forty years with Mj.  I'm all signed up...I just don't want it to fly by too fast.  The 40 year anniversary traditional gift is Ruby, the modern day gift is a Garnet and if he needed an organ I would give it to him.  What will we look like in 40 years?  What kind of twists and turns will our relationship have taken?  How many date nights, weekend getaways and movie nights will there have been?  How many disagreements?  Life is just so precious.  And so is love.  We are not promised tomorrow so while we are here we need to be thankful for what we have, live and love as hard as we can, while we still can.  

Maintaining the Magic

On our wedding day

There are so many unhappy marriages in this world.  I don't have statistics but I venture to guess that for every happy and loving marriage there are at least five pairs of miserable dysfunctional marriages that are on the verge of collapse or already have.  I should know.  I used to be in one of them.  I am glad to say that my newly minted marriage is alive and well.  We love and respect each other.  The lines of communication are open and we have fun.  But for everyone of those marriages that are falling apart many of them started out just like us.  Happy, loving, affectionate.  Madly in love.  It is a huge reminder to me that although I know that Mj is the right person for me we are not just going to magically stay as in love as we are now forever without effort.  I think it's so important to put forth the effort and be conscious of that now when things are good to avoid having to try to do it later in a relationship that has been allowed to unravel into disrepair.

Dating Mj was such fun.  Our first date was dinner and even though it was also my first time meeting him I felt comfortable right away.  He planned our second one which was an all day date that included lunch, go cart racing and kite flying.  After the third date I was hooked.  I fed off of his energy and he showered me with gifts, love and all kinds of fun outings.  Learning new things about each other all the time was thrilling especially because the more I found out the more perfect he seemed for me.  Every time we were together was like a new adventure.  Issues and problems that we'd had with previous partners were a thing of the past.  Everything was different now that we'd found each other and it felt wonderful.  Every kiss, every touch, every time I got to see him was magic.

That was 3 1/2 years ago and we are 1 year into marriage.  We are no longer in that euphoric exciting fun filled newly dating and falling in love phase anymore.  That phase only happens when you are newly dating and falling in love and seeing as how we are no longer newly dating and have already fallen in love that phase of our relationships is over.  We still have fun but now our relationship has a whole new dimension to it.  We live together.  We have bills to pay.  I get to wash his dirty gym clothes and he gets to listen to me complain about him not putting his keys and sunglasses in the brown basket.  While we might not know everything there is to know about one another we know quite a bit and so that discovery process has slowed down.  Still, when he kisses me or says "I love you" just because my heart melts.  I'm still excited to see him.  We love spending time together and I love coming home to him every day.  I am as in love with him now as I was in those exhilarating days of dating and I want it to stay that way.

We are newlyweds just beginning our marriage journey.  Those early days of dating are in the past but I don't ever want to loose that wonder and attraction that made us fall in love with each other.  Therein lies the challenge.  We are no longer newly dating and freshly falling in love but we are in love and we need to keep that magic alive. It's so easy to communicate when everything is perfectly uncomplicated but what about when it's not?  The hardest decision we make isn't where we should go for dinner anymore, it's whether or not we should have kids, how much we should put into savings and who gets to clean the bathroom.  Communication is more important now then it ever was and having the courtesy and respect for each other that we started out with will only make it easier to maintain a healthy happy relationship.

The bottom line is that as a couple you should never stop doing the things that made you fall in love in the first place and add in new things that will keep you there.  Continue to be kind to each other.  Listen to each other and have fun together.  Think about the words you said on your wedding day.  Relationships, like people are constantly evolving.  As easy as it is in these early days of our relationship it might get more difficult as the years go on especially if we don't nurture and value what we have.  When I see those happy couples married for 20 + years with gray hair still out there slow dancing, holding hands and going on dates it makes me smile.  I know without a doubt that I want that to be us some day and it's up to us to make sure that it is.

1 Year Wedding Anniversary

Husband and wife

Enjoying the festivities

July 10th, 2010 was one of the happiest days of my life. We booked the date about seven months out and from that moment on everything leading up to and including our wedding day was a whirlwind of fun, excitement and adventure.  We'd fallen in love and eight months after meeting we had to spend eleven months apart while he was out of the country.  He came back and we immediately threw ourselves into house hunting and wedding planning.   Sure, there were stressful times and I had more then a few mini nervous breakdowns along the way but it was all worth it and I loved having this big special day to look forward to.  The only thing I loved more then the planning process was the day itself.  Our reward for all that we had gone through was this magical fun day where we had a blast and got to celebrate our love with family and friends.  Yes, it just so happens to have cost more then any one day ever will but you can't really put a price tag on the joy we got out of it.  I felt more beautiful then I've ever felt in my life.  I was the star of my own fairy tale.  I was a princess being escorted to the ball that would forever change my life by my handsome prince all the while surrounded by people who love us.  There will never ever be another day like that one special day.  The groom forgot his tux, there were a few uninvited guests, our cake was the wrong color and it went by way too fast but I will always remember it as a perfect day that I enjoyed from the moment I woke up until I went to bed that night.  I danced, I ate and drank, I mingled and totally lost myself in the wonder of the day.  I feel so lucky and fortunate that I got to experience that.

It's no surprise that I felt a tremendous sense of loss when it was over.  I gained a handsome wonderful man that I could now call my husband but I lost the whole wedding planning spectacle I had so enjoyed.  We were properly installed in our house and my wedding was now behind me so I didn't know what to do with myself.  I relived that day over and over in blog recap after blog recap, photo sharing, conversations and in my mind.  I just wanted to do it all over again!  Funny as it sounds I really mourned the passing of my wedding day.  I became envious of brides who were still in the planning phase and it actually took a good few months...or four but I finally got over it and moved on.  I've since settled happily into married life, look fondly back at our gorgeous wedding pictures and still well up with happy tears when I hear our recessional song.  It was truly a day that I will never, ever, EVER forget and will live on for all eternity as one of the best and happiest days of my life.

There was plenty of kissing that night!!

Sheer Joy

We had a nice fancy dinner out Saturday night where I got buzzed on wine and we both left with very full satisfied stomachs.  Sunday, on the afternoon of our 1 year wedding anniversary he took off for Australia.  I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  He showered, did his last minute packing and ate all the while my eyes followed him wherever he went.  I'm often guilty of staring at him like some deranged stalker but it's just 'cause I think he's the cutest thing ever and I'm his wife.  It's my right!  He's come and gone many times already this year but this is the 3rd (and last) long trip.  The first time I said, "OK see ya later" but this time around I cried.  I probably won't even be able to talk to him while he's gone.  It's just not the same when he's not here.  Time apart has only strengthened us in the past and reunions are the best so there is always that to look forward to.  In the meantime, I'll just get on with my day to day routine, get out and do something fun with friends to pass the time.  Then when he gets back we can continue on our merry way to celebrating our next anniversary.

Wedding Day Recaps & Pics
Wedding Sticker Shock
Why have a wedding at all?
Wedding advice from a budget bride
Our Honeymoon

Define Soulmate

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:  A soulmate ( or soul mate) is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate. In New Age spirituality, the ultimate soulmate is the one and only other half of one's soul. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations

Dictionary.com
soul mate
-noun
a person with whom one has a strong affinity

soulmate
-n
a person for whom one has a deep affinity, esp a lover, wife, husband, etc

google.com/dictionary
soul mate Noun
1.  A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner

It really wasn't until I met Mj that the soul mate question ever really crossed my mind.  Up until then I was very doubtful of the concept and didn't give it much thought.  There is the life I led before Mj and the one I lead after.  The after is way better and such a stark contrast to the before.  I am a better happier person since I met him.  He literally saved me from myself.  The very fact that this person has transformed my life so much got me thinking.  If ever there was a soul mate then he must be it.  The answer you get when you ask someone about soul mates can be very telling about their relationship history.  It seems that if you have met your soul mate you know it and you are a believer.  If you have not then you aren't sure it exists and/or don't believe that you have met him.  The other question that comes to mind is can you have more then one?  If there is only one perfect soul mate in the entire world for you then the odds of finding that person are slim to none meaning that most who believe they have found their soul mate really haven't based on pure odds alone.  Makes sense, but I don't like those odds.  I think you can fall in love multiple times but all of those times won't be "real."  It's something you think is real and true at the time but don't realize it isn't until you have experienced it with a soul mate.

He is my heart

I don't think any of those definitions of soulmate do the word justice.  "A person for whom one has a deep affinity" could be anyone and a lot of  people at that.  A soul mate is more then a deep affinity.  It has to be.  I know there are mythical implications and I'm not really sure what I believe about all of that but I do believe that I have met my soul mate...whatever that is.  For me it means that I have met someone who is the perfect person for me in every way.  A person who I am meant to be with.  How else could our relationship be so easy and amazing?  How else could this sense of comfort, peace and certainty have washed over me despite all initial efforts to fight it? We have fun and enjoy spending time together. I am totally at ease in his presence.  There is no drama nor has there ever been.  I trust him completely.  There is this myth that relationships are hard.  Not only that, but that they are supposed to be.  If you believe this then maybe you haven't met your soulmate.  My relationship is not hard at all.  We don't fight.  We ebb and flow around and through each other as naturally as could be.  His strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa.  We are on the same page in so may ways.  We agree on a lot and what we don't is usually simple enough to resolve.  We know when to push or when to pull back without being told.  I find it difficult to even be mad at him.  We balance each other out in a way that makes loving him and being with him feel like something I was meant to do.  Does it annoy me that he has some sort of aversion to putting away his stuff?  Yes, but this amazing ability to love him deeply in spite of any flaw that he may have is somehow stronger then my annoyance.  Anything that comes with loving this man is worth putting up with and it hardly even feels like a sacrifice.  I may drive him nuts to no end but there he is every morning giving me a kiss before he goes to work while I'm still in bed.  We respect each other and I find him to be one of the the most handsome men alive.  Without a doubt I know that we will be in love and happy together for the rest of our life and that there is nothing that we can't handle together. 

Is this presumptuous?  Perhaps.  But it's the way I feel.  There is simply no doubt when it comes to him.  It is painful to even briefly summon the thought of what life would be without him.  I shake my head and push it away because of this feeling that life is not worth living unless he is by my side.  At times I am totally overwhelmed with this incredible feeling of love for him.  This indescribable wave of emotion that brims out of my heart and fills up my soul.  I am so lucky and happy that this wonderful person has been placed in my life.  Sometimes when he kisses me on the top of my head or gives me a tight little squeeze for no particular reason there is a moment of clarity where I say to myself, "Oh my gosh, he loves me." And it is such a thrill.  This is very powerful stuff!  I've been married before.  The first time around never felt even close to this.

He might be my soul mate but that doesn't mean that I can take him or our relationship for granted.  I'm not saying that challenges won't come our way or that there will never be problems.  Life is unpredictable and anything can happen.  Maybe we will eventually have an argument or something bigger to tackle but I feel that we are so well matched that we will be able to deal with it.  Together.  Having said all of that I still don't think I've defined soulmate but I'm ok with that.  Like Love it's a feeling more then anything else and experienced in so many different ways by different people that it cannot be fully captured or defined.  Words alone just don't do it justice.

Do you believe in soulmates?  If not, then why?  If so, have you met him?

Date Night Do Over

This was going to be an all day date.  I didn't know him that well so it could either go really good or really bad.  He did all the planning so I had no idea what we'd be doing.  He picked me up and we went out for pizza and go cart racing.  After that we went over to Walmart and bought kites before heading to the beach.  We flew kites in the park and then when it got really chilly we drove over by the water and talked in his car while we watched the sunset.  We never did make it to the movies that night.  That was three years ago but I'd say things went pretty well considering the guy that picked me up for what was to be our 2nd date is my now my husband.  I had so much fun that I wanted us to do it all over again.

Lunch time

Three years later it's June instead of March.  That's how long it took for us to work this special date into our Mj's travel schedule.  The first time Mj got a red light ticket on the way to lunch in what was to be our first official picture but this time after a quick stop at the car wash we got to Filippe's Pizza without incident.   The place has this mob type atmosphere about it and was totally unchanged from three years ago.  We even got seated at the same table where it took about 10 minutes for our eyes to adjust to the darkness in the windowless room.  Within 15 minutes we'd each ordered beers, small pizzas with our toppings of choice and some garlic bread.  We were both starving by the time our piping hot pizzas were brought out.  Forget about being lady like.  The pizza is so good that I didn't care if I looked like a pig last time and ate the whole thing by myself.  I planned on demolishing it again and almost made it but neither one of us could finish our last slice.  I can appreciate chivalry so I did not interfere with his desire to pay for everything before but this time I thought it might be a nice gesture to pay for lunch.

One for me, one for you.  Pizza & Beer.  Love it!!!

We went over to the Speedway next.  We were still in the system from three years ago (me with my maiden name) so we didn't have to fill out the release of liability forms.  We got into our race cars and waited for our signal to go.  Mj took off like a lightning bolt and had already turned three corners by the time I was just barely into my first.  As expected he lapped me.  The next time I saw him coming up behind me I sped up to try to keep him from passing me again.  I put up a good fight and held him off for a while but eventually he passed me up again.  He finished first and I was 6th.  Out of 6.  I get nervous going too fast around corners because it feels like I'm going to tip over.

Suiting up

Ready to Rumble

After that we went to to Walmart to get our kites.  As we walked in Mj said, "This was the very first place I ever held your hand."  I remembered and my little girly girl heart melted when he said that he remembered too.  After asking a couple employees where the kites were, two of which didn't even know what they were, we discovered that they had kite strings but no kites.  Huh?  So we got bubbles instead.  Don't all couples in love blow bubbles together?  It's June which means June gloom in So Cal.  So not only did the sun disappear as we got closer to the coast but after we got to Mission Beach I realized that the sun sets much, much later in June so even if it had come out we wouldn't have stuck around to watch it set.  We blew bubbles and cuddled on the blanket and enjoyed ourselves anyways.  When I got too cold for comfort we left.

Time for bubbles

Three years ago after leaving Mission Beach we drove by the mall with the idea of going to the movies and ended up chatting in his car with the engine running in the parking lot for about an hour instead.  We weren't sure what we wanted to see and were contemplating how crowded it would be.  I liked him but I didn't know if I LIKED him, liked him.  I had a good time and all but being out with him all day totally disrupted my normal exciting routine of staying in on weekends and I was ready to get home.  Not only do I like him now, I love him so I figured it would be OK to extend our date for another couple hours and this time we made it to the movies.  Bridesmaids was the perfect date night movie to cap off such a great date.  It had everything I love in a chick flick to keep me happy but was sprinkled with enough comedy and raunchy bits to keep him entertained.  I must say the date was even better this time.  We got to go home together at the end of the night and that level of comfort and love that I enjoy so much is already there. 

I hooked him on our 1st date at TGI Friday's.  We both ordered dinner salads and I think it was the 1st and last time I ever saw him do that.  He already liked me enough to plan on spending a whole day with me for our 2nd but it wasn't until our much simpler 3rd date at Souplantation that I fell in love.  I met him after work and watched him play a Basketball game then with him still in his gym clothes we sat there forever talking well after we finished eating.  There was nothing fancy about that date, but something about that night just did it for me.  Our 4th date was a gondola ride and the most romantic of them all but that 2nd date still stands out for me.  I thought it was so cute how he planned out all of those activities and at 7 hours it was the longest date I'd ever been on.  Maybe I hadn't quite made up my mind about him yet but it sure didn't take long.  The rest as they say is history.