In Ten Years.....

And now for the hard part. Where do I want to be in 10 years? It's kind of ironic that I of all people would receive an award with this as a topic because I seriously have no clue. I have always been sort of aimless and confused when it comes to my future. This has always bothered me and yet I still have not managed to figure out a way to change it.

The only thing I know for sure is that I want to be happy and loving life. Whatever keeps the happiness coming is what I want for the future. When you have gone through years and years of your life without that you really realize just how precious and priceless it is. I also want for Mj and I to be celebrating our 12Th anniversary together and still be as happy and in love as we are right now. Yes, those are obvious answers but when it comes to concrete future predictions....I got nothin'.

I still haven't decided if I want children. I could say that I would like to have a career, which I do, but without any ideas or direction on my part that is not likely to happen. Careers may appear out of thin air for some but thus far I have not found that to be the case for me. It would be a dream come true to be a published author because I love writing so much. Aside from modeling that is the only other thing I have ever really wanted to do.

I have to admit that I really hate my answer. It is formless and without direction. How can I not know this at my age? I am a self proclaimed planner but apparently only when it comes to short term projects. The only thing I seem to know for sure is that I don't know. I am slowly learning acceptance of this purely out of necessity so that I don't drive myself mad with frustration.

"Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)...The future's not ours to see Que Sera, Sera"

Or something like that!!