Vaccinated in a Parking Garage

Most of the posts about the covid-19 vaccination from people I follow on Instagram express excitement or relief about getting their vaccine. For me, it's neither. It was pretty naive of me, but this time last year I was thinking about the vaccine as something that would save us all. In my mind, the vaccine would be the key to opening up the world and things getting back to normal, but as time went on I realized it was a lot more complicated than that. It's a start, but it's not going to be the magic bullet I kinda thought it would be. Not only that, I was scared to get it. 

I kind of assumed that everyone would run not walk to get this vaccine, but there are a lot of people I know who don't plan on it. There is a lot of fear out there about this new vaccine that was fast tracked, and is technically not FDA approved. It didn't take long for the scary headlines to pop up, and the vaccine started to seem just as unpredictable as covid-19. When the vaccine opened up to me, I had mixed feelings. I didn't rush to make an appointment, but then when I finally checked and saw that I could not get one, I was disappointed. Did I want the vaccine or not? When I felt like I couldn't get an appointment, I realized I really wanted one. I poked around on a few different websites about a week later and when I found an appointment for the very next day I took it.

Then I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it anymore! I hate shots. I tried to limit what I was reading to reputable news sources, but the tragic headlines about the vaccine gone wrong played on my mind. I'm healthy. Should I just take my chances with covid, or take my chances with the shot? The idea of feeling safer in the world is what really got me to do it. I've been cautious throughout this pandemic, but have not been overly paranoid. Paranoid is, of course subjective. When the world started to inch open it became very clear that there would be a wide range across this pandemic about what people would feel comfortable doing and not doing. And that some people actually don't believe it exists at all. If I needed something at the store I got it. When my hair got crazy out of control I went and got it done. We did a road trip to Zion and visited with my parents. I did some limited socializing in my neighborhood with people who have a similar risk tolerance to mine, and there was some outdoor dining with friends. I was cautious and careful, but not to the point where I neglected doctor appointments and barricaded myself in my home. I am in no rush to get back to the office. Working at home is pretty damn great, thank you very much, but I do want to travel and I do want to have less fear about being in the world and socializing with others. My husband has been going into the office to work everyday and has a higher tolerance for risk than me, and being vaccinated kind of levels the field for us there. I know we still need to mask up and sanitize, but I don't want to be afraid of people anymore. I don't want to be afraid to be in an airport and get on an airplane. Some people are terrified of covid and won't get the vaccine because they are terrified of that. I don't know what the solution is for them, but I don't want to to be that person.

My parents got the vaccine and they were fine. I started to hear about other people I know getting the vaccine and they were fine too. So, I got my covid-19 vaccination. In a parking garage. No, it wasn't some underground, illicit vaccination ring. It's just the kind of crazy world we are living in today. I'm very impressed with how well  organized and well done it was. They had us in and out pretty quick and it actually was super convenient not to have to get out of my car. I got Moderna because that's what they were offering at the place I could get an appointment at. And I'm fine too. It's done. I'm fully vaccinated. And the shot itself was a piece of cake. The sore arm afterwards was way worse, and I did have some odd minor symptoms after the first one (oddly enough). For some odd reasons it gave me cold symptoms, but there nothing after the second shot. Unless you count fatigue, which I don't because it's not all that unusual for me on any given day. 

I can't help but think about possible long term side effects that we won't know about for years to come. Vaccinated or not I can still get covid-19. I can still pass it on. It may or may not work on various strains. Everything seems to be one big giant question mark, and I don't like it! But I don't see that we have a ton of options here. I decided that I was more afraid of getting Covid-19 than I was of getting the vaccine. I am healthy, and would probably survive Covid-19, but the long haul effects that some people inexplicably end up with, and the possibility that I could also not survive is scary to think about.