Finding "The One"

*Me and "The One" on our wedding day*

I can still remember my first crush.  Dreaming that he would like me back while listening to mixed tapes that I recorded off the radio for hours in my room.  That longing aching sensation I had inside for a boy I didn't even really know.  He was a smart, cute basketball star and I just wanted to feel his arms wrapped around me.   Along with half the other girls in our school.  At the tender age of Fifteen I felt utterly heartbroken and alone because he never gave me a second glance.  I got over it eventually, but that first crush is something I'll never forget.

I was a "late bloomer."  The glasses didn't get traded in for contacts until Junior year in high school and the much needed orthodontia did not come until my Junior year in College.  In high school I was the girl who only got invited to two high school dances and never had a boyfriend.  I wanted a boyfriend so badly but kissing still seemed sort of disgusting.  Until I finally got to do it myself with my Senior Prom date just after high school graduation.  I cursed my non existent love life back then but as a wizened adult who's been around the block I can look back and say it was a good thing.  My cautious and tentative nature when it came to boys meant that I took things slow which meant that I was very selective with who I gave a chance and didn't have to kiss too many frogs to get to my prince. 

I met my first boyfriend when I was Eighteen and ended up marrying him.  It may have taken me a while to feel comfortable enough to have a boyfriend but once I made up my mind I was all in.  It was great at first.  Isn't it always?  Then, I began to realize that we were were simply too different to make it work.  What's with three years of dating and a four year engagement?  We clearly had reservations but we had been together so long it was our duty to tie the knot so that's what we did.  I didn't even know myself at 18 when we met and 10 years later was still trying to figure it out when I found myself divorced, in my late twenties and dating for the first time in my life.  After a 9 year relationship.

I had plenty of dates but very few connections.  There was a certain feeling that I was looking for and I wasn't going to settle or pretend.  Getting taken out to dinner was fun and all but I never knew how to negotiate that moment when I realized that I didn't like the guy "that way" and I didn't see the point of leading him on.  Dating was fun and being single was OK with me but I prefer having one special person and I found myself in relationship #2 with the proverbial "bad boy" before long.  If you could call it that.  Our relationship status was always a question mark so it never really felt like one and let's just say that he wasn't as "separated" as he claimed to be.  Being so inexperienced I was too naive to see what should have been obvious.  I still considered myself lucky for having been burned only once in my life by a man.

Oh, and remember that first crush?  Right around my dating years he resurfaced.  He lived out of state but when he was back home visiting he always made a point to call me and we'd meet up.  On one such visit, like something out of a movie, he gave me his high school Basketball jersey.  The very same one that I dreamed about having Thirteen years earlier just didn't have the same effect on me now.  He never noticed me before so he wasn't the right boy for me in high school nor the right man for me over a decade later.  That jersey represented everything I ever wanted when I was in the throes of that poignant teenage crush.  I had come full circle from that awkward lonely girl just wanting to be loved, to a woman that had no problem getting dates, who had loved and lost and was now OK with being on her own.

I had a brief but fun long distance romantic interlude with a guy from the other side of the US.  It was just what I needed to get over the two timer and get ready for the most important one yet.  Third time's a charm.  Fresh off of a quasi relationship I knew exactly how things were NOT supposed to be and was simply blown away by the difference.  The very next man who I handed my heart to and asked for love in return is the same man who I am happily married to three years after we met.  The same man who I expect to be married to the rest of my life.

I wasn't supposed to have a high school boyfriend.  I was meant to long for love in a way that would always make me remember how much I want it and just how precious it is.  I wasn't meant to have 10 boyfriends and several short lived romances.  It could have changed me and my path to "the one" in so many ways.  Instead, I was given two relationships and a time for dating in my late twenties.  Nobody plans on divorce, but I was meant to have a "starter" marriage to prepare me for the one that counts.  With each heart break I learned the lessons that I needed to learn and grew in the ways that I needed to grow.  I didn't know it yet but all along I was on the path towards "the one."  And when he came along I was ready for him.  The man I was meant to be with.

Razor VS i Phone

There is no point to even pretend that even on some alternate universe there is any comparison between the i phone and the Razor.  There are only a handful of phones that can stack up to the i phone and needless to say the Razor is not one of them.  Even for it's time it is just a poorly functioning phone and I cannot believe that there were people were going crazy wanting to get their hands on one, my big sister included!  Suffice it to say that I could have gotten any phone and it would have been a huge step up.  Getting the i phone was leaps and bounds.

*Smash*

Old and busted razor

Do you know that I couldn't even get through a 30 minute phone conversation sometimes without the battery dying?  If I cut out suddenly everyone just knew that my phone had crapped out.  Texting was the biggest pain in my butt and if I missed a call it wouldn't even tell me what time the call came in.  I had to create a new contact for each number even if those numbers all belonged to one person.  The only thing it had going for it was that it was Pink.  That Razor frustrated me to no end during the year that I was unfortunate enough to be stuck with it so in order to fully expel all of that frustration I decided to smash it.  Literally.  I threw it on the ground first just for kicks but then I took a hammer to it and smashed it up.  It's so much fun destroying things.  A shame we don't have the opportunity to do it more often.  It's a real stress and tension buster.  So, since there is no comparison between the old phone and the new I'm just going to say all the things I love about my new i phone. 

My new phone!!

1. Calendar.  I love being organized so having access to a calendar on my phone is great.  I use the i calendar for Mj's schedule and imported my google calendar for mine.  I can view them separate or together with the touch of a button and our lives are all right there at my fingertips.  When you add in birthdays to your contacts they automatically go on the Birthday calendar. 
2. Notes.  I love making to do lists and shopping lists.  I also keep track of movies that are going to be coming out in Theaters so I can add them to my blockbuster Queue.  No longer must I carry around scraps of paper to try to keep up with and have to search for a pen.  I can quickly e mail grocery lists to Mj or vice versa.  I can make lists to my hearts content.  Clothes I want to buy.  TV shows I'm going to watch.  Whatever.  It's all right there. 
3. Apps.  Just three months ago I still didn't fully understand what an app was.  "There's an app for that." Blah, blah, blah.  I got tired of hearing about it 'cause I sure couldn't get any on the Razor.  Now, I heart apps more than anyone.  There really is one for almost everything you use and do on the Internet.  This perfectly condensed program that allows you to do most major functions without having to actually go to the URL.  Tracking calories on Lose it is fun.  I have USAA, Blockbuster, Discover Card, Fandango for movies, Jenny Craig dining Guide, All Recipes....and on and on.  So convenient.
4. Camera.  I don't have to worry about ALWAYS having my digital camera on hand.  Sometimes I don't necessarily plan to take any pics but then find that I'd want to for some reason and be annoyed that I couldn't.  The quality of the i phone is almost as good as my digital camera so I don't really worry about that so much.  It has a flash.  I can zoom in, color correct and e mail it to myself for posting so easily.  The video camera is fun and Face time is pretty cool.  Love, love, love!!
5. Data Plan.  I always said that I absolutely don't need the Internet on my phone.  And really, I don't.  But it sure is nice to have.  I have GPS in my car but I also have my maps on my phone.  I know I can get anywhere I need to without having to print out map quest directions before I leave the house.  If I need to look something up real fast on the fly I can.  The i phone Internet is almost as fast as my mac book.
6. Functionality.  The call quality is good.  The battery life is excellent.  This phone charges up really fast.  It is so user friendly because any button you need is right there on the screen for you to touch.  I love having my alarm on my phone pre set for weekdays so I don't have to worry about forgetting to set it then turn it off on the weekends. 

If it's possible to be in love with a phone well I have to say that I am.  No, all of those gizmos on my phone are not necessary.  I never had 'em before and I sure don't NEED 'em now.  There are a lot of unnecessary things we have that make life just that little bit easier.  Simple things even.  Like having a garage or a water spout in my refrigerator.  My biggest worry about getting this phone was letting go of my $41 T Mobile cell phone bill.  I held out for so long just to keep it and I am glad that I did.  For a while I just felt having all those "extras" on my phone was too much.  I don't need to jump into the latest thing right away.  I didn't get a DVD player until years after everyone else did and I got a smart phone on my own time too.  Well, it was a Christmas gift from Mj, but after much coaxing he knew I was finally ready.  I'm glad I held out but I'm also glad I finally took that leap and upgraded.  I am only paying about $10 more on a combined plan.  It's not that much more and it's worth it.  Life is hard sometimes and I work hard.  There are a lot of things that would make life easier that I simply can't afford.  Turns out that this i phone isn't one of them so I might as well have it.

I Won an Awesome Giveaway



Godet Cardigan, $95



Linen Cardigan, $165

I love to win!  Who doesn't right?  It doesn't even have to be much in order for me to get excited about it but I really hit the jackpot on this one.  One of my favorite and most fashionable bloggers Leslie over at Blonde Ambition hosted one of the best giveaways I've seen yet.  By the way she just got engaged and I cannot wait to see how beautiful her wedding turns out.  This is actually the first blog giveaway that I've ever entered.   We got to choose 2 of 5 items from Charli Girls.  Oh how my heart was yearning for these lovely sweaters as I did my entry even though I didn't really believe I had a chance in hell of winning.  Until I did!! I'm sure there were well over 100 entries and I was lucky #85! I'd never heard of this company before but I checked out their website and they've got some really cute stuff.  I love the muted colors and the weekend wear meets dressy style.  The fabrics are all soft and flowy.  This is truly the perfect prize.  I am always cold so sweaters are my best friend.  I try to have cute ones in a variety of neutral colors that go with everything because I don't ever leave the house without one.  Not only is the prize perfect but the timing couldn't be better.  I'm on a very limited budget right now and winning this gives me my little shopping fix. 

Mj laughs about my sweepstakes/contest entering ways.  It is not at all unusual for me to be simultaneously entering several different online contests at a time daily.  Part of me doesn't believe I will win but the other part of me figures why not try anyways.  Most of the time I don't win but this is a perfect example of how you just never know-for once it could be you!  It's been a long tiring week and I haven't been sleeping well.  Last night was my first good night of rest and finding out about this prize was the best way to start out my Friday.  Thanks again Leslie!!  Now, if I could just win that Dream house on HGTV I'd be all set!

An Award for Me

I got an award!!  Adorably Distracted gave me the Versatile Blogger award.  I love her blog because it's real.  She tells it like it is and that's that.  No sugar coating required.  Getting an award for being versatile seems sort of ironic at the moment because lately I feel like I never have anything interesting to write about.  Well, at least now I do!  I love it that the questions do not require soul searching or totally profound answers.  I always get stumped on those and never know what to write.  These I can do.

Rules:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award

2. Answer 10 questions*

3. Pass it along to 7 blogs you've recently discovered and enjoy*

4. Leave your recipients a note, telling them about the award

Disclaimer:  I must add this note because I don't want anyone to feel obligated to answer the questions and/or pass it on.  Awards are great and all but not everyone is into it.  I will not be offended and will still happily read your blog!

The Questions:
1.  Why did you create this blog?
I didn't do it for a specific purpose but just because it's what I do.  I can't help but write.  As soon as I discovered blogging I wanted in!  I love writing AND I love it that here I get to share my writing and read the writing of others as well.  I have diaries dating back to age 10!  I journaled all through middle school, high school and college.  That's a lot of writing, a lot of spiral notebooks and a heck of a lot of secrets.   I always joke that I want to have them buried with me.  It's hilarious to go back and read them and I love it that I actually have a running narration of my whole life.  To satisfy that need I still have a secret journal online.   I will always be writing something somewhere.

2. What kinds of blogs do you follow?
I tend to follow blogs of people who I can identify with and who are in a similar state in life as me.  It's fun to see the goings on of others all over.  There is reality TV where we kind of get to peek inside the lives of others but that's actually not reality.  Watching the Kardsashians jet off to New York or Miami and buy things I can only dream about isn't the real world for me. 

3. Favorite make-up brand?
Mac and Clinique.  I also like my Rimmel London mascara.

4. Favorite clothing brand?
I love Express and The Limited...when I have coupons.  I haven't been to H & M in a while but I like their clothes too.

5. Indispensable makeup product?
Blush.  Even on days where I wear nothing else which is most of the time I sweep some blush over my cheeks and it gives me a nice glow.

6. Favorite color?
PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. Favorite perfume?
I LOVE Burberry and Glo by J Lo.

8. Favorite film?
Some favorites are Brokedown Palace, Return to Paradise, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the remake with Jessica Biel in it).  I'm a horror movie nut.

9. What country would you like to visit and why?
Italy and Greece.  I would like to go to both if I ever get the chance to go to Europe.  They both look so beautiful in pictures and TV.  I want to see it and experience it for myself.

10. Would you rather forget to put mascara on one eye or forget blush on one side of your face?
I'd rather forget blush.  It's easier to wipe off the other cheek.  That is if I realize it!

I really haven't added too many new blogs to my blog roll lately so I will pass this award along to some I think are somewhat newer then others at least!


Kristin in America:  She just did some awesome recaps of her awesome backyard wedding and is now making the transition from living in Japan to being back in the US of A.
Fitting Back In:  This is actually my newest addition to my blog roll.  She is a married gal who exercises regularly AND she cooks up a storm.  Basically, an inspiration!  If I ever am at a loss for a recipe I KNOW I can find something on her site.
The Chocolate Knot:  A fairly new newly wed like a lot of my readers.  She blogs about a lot of relationship stuff even with her busy schedule.
Lovely Little Details:  I've actually followed this one for a while but Jacin has totally revamped her website and has turned into quite the wedding blogger.  She even created the love for planning her own wedding into a business and she styles weddings now.  Amazing!!
In Sickness and In Health:  I have followed her other blog for a while and she recently created this one to document her husband's fight with cancer.  They are both so young but they have an incredible attitude about what they are being forced to deal with.  My heart goes out to them and I wish only the best for her husband's quick recovery.

Fall Down Go Boom



*Scene of the accident*

There I was yesterday at 5:03pm power walking down the hallway that leads to the office lobby at work and out the door.  When I got outside to the stairs something went wrong with the traction in my boots and my foot slipped out from under me.  It happened so fast.  One second I was taking a step down the stairs and the next I was forward cartwheeling down the hard concrete steps.  It took half a second for me to realize that this wasn't just a slip and fall on your butt kind of thing.  I actually pitched forward and the only thought I can remember having before it was over is, "Oh no, this isn't going to stop."  I couldn't tell you what actually happened but somehow I managed to hold onto my purse, lunch bag and keep my i phone clutched in my left hand.  No worries.  The i phone is fine.  Thanks to my hard case there is only a black dig in the corner that will always be a reminder of this hilarious incident.  And yes, it is funny so if you are laughing right now I understand that you are laughing with not at me.  If I can't laugh at myself I certainly wouldn't be posting this here for anyone to read laugh about.  Once my body stopped flailing down the stairs I brought myself to a sitting position for a minute and looked around to see if anyone actually saw what just went down.  Pun intended.  There was a gal sitting in her car parked in the 1st spot at the bottom of the steps but she was so into her phone I think she missed it.  Thank goodness.  But the kid in the back seat sure didn't.  I could see him craning his neck to take a look at me as I limped by after sitting there to compose myself.  Oh boy did my scraped up knee ever hurt on the way home.  I rolled up my jeans to prevent any blood transfer.  Gotta protect the Seven's.

"Hi...." I replied to Mj's hello as I walked in the front door.  "What's wrong with you?" he immediately said even before he saw me.  My pain was acutely obvious of course even in my voice because I'm such a wimp when it comes to stuff like this.  It was my night to make dinner so hurting or not the show must go on.  I covered up my knee and got to cooking.  After falling down the stairs I didn't exactly feel like stopping at the store to pick up broccoli so I omitted that from the recipe and got on with it.

Twice Baked Potatoes 

Dinner was delicious and Mj raved about that even if a couple hours earlier I was referred to as his "Clutso the Clown."  I redeemed myself.  Even as I type this now I have a little smile on my face and it turns into a giggle when I try to visualize how I must've looked.  Falling as an adult is so embarrassing, not to mention at work!  We've been walking way too long.  We are not supposed to fall and being so much higher from the ground makes it even more comical when we do.  Chances are I'm still going to rush out of work like a lightning bolt today especially because it's Friday and there is another warm sunny weekend that I can't wait to get started on.  I'm wearing my flat brown boots today instead of the heels and I'll just have to make sure I stay on my feet this time!

The Bench Debacle

More Mud Bench on display at Cost Plus World Market

We don't wear shoes in our house so I've been looking for a cute little bench to put inside our front entry way that will make it easier for guests and myself to take shoes off when coming in.  A couple weeks before Christmas I saw this beautiful $229 bench on display at Cost Plus World Market.  I love that store.  It was not in the budget right then but I had just signed up for their club and figured that after the holidays I might have some coupons by then or it might even be on sale. 

A couple days after the new year I looked up the bench.  They are having a furniture sale and there it is on sale for $129!  I even had a $10 off coupon that I could use and I would use some money got we for Christmas to pay for it.  I went that very day right after work and bought it.  They didn't have one on display but I had the item name and they were able to find it for me in the back.

This worked out perfectly.  The bench I wanted AND in stock and on sale!  I got the very last one.  I triumphantly walked into the house and said to Mj, "Yeah, I got that bench we liked.  It was on sale!"  I go through my pics on my lap top to check out the bench and the dimensions again.  I am startled to see that the bench that I took a picture of before Christmas cannot be the same bench that is now sitting in a box inside my front entry way.  I zoom in on the pic and see that the not only are the dimensions different but so is the item name.  In my excitement over seeing this cute bench I thought it was the same one as before when in fact, it's totally different.  How lame am I?  Seeing the pictures side by side it's obvious that they are different but I absolutely did not realize it until I did this.  Feeling a little deflated I try to find the More Mud bench on the website and it's actually nowhere to be found.  It's almost like it was a figment of my imagination except I happen to have picture proof that it was not.  Strange.  I like the "new" bench but I'm thinking that I would have liked the other one better.  It's been difficult finding one we both like that is in our price range and quality that I can trust.  The Malay bench is very similar and I certainly don't feel like lugging it back to the store so I decided to keep it.

Malay Upholstered Bench

We opened it up and put it together on Sunday and it looks good.  It's not the More Mud Bench but I like it.  Even if I feel like a bit of an idiot for getting all excited about the wrong one.  It didn't come with the baskets like the other one did but it's made to hold them so I can get some if I want.  I actually kind of like just having the shelf and this bench is longer so it actually has more storage and sitting space then the other one.  It's cute, functional, the price was right and I can check one more thing of my list of things we need to get.